


the light behind your eyes

by xspacebound



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M, Riding kink, Top!Zayn, be aware of the rape tag please, bottom!Liam, hate to love relationship, i don't want anyone to be triggered by it, it's very short but please be aware it's in here, liam rides zayn lol, older!zayn, prison fic, younger!liam
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-08
Updated: 2015-03-08
Packaged: 2018-03-17 00:13:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 24,563
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3507905
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xspacebound/pseuds/xspacebound
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Liam is cleaning off his tears with his sleeve when Zayn finally sits down next to him, wrapping his arm around his waist. Zayn pulls him closer and Liam instantly leans his head on Zayn's shoulder, his wet nose nuzzling his neck. He reminds him of a puppy.</p><p>"Never, ever fucking tell me it doesn't matter. It was enough to make you cry, it was enough to make you hate yourself and call yourself stupid, so yeah, it does matter, Liam. Because you fucking matter. Never tell me it's not a big deal. Never again, okay?"</p><p>Liam's hushed whimpers escape his mouth as he nods into Zayn's shoulder. Zayn stops himself from saying the three words he is aching to confess, but no, fuck that, he can't. He cares for Liam, he can't let himself fall for him. He can't.</p><p>*<br/>a prison!fic where liam is 18 when louis and him are thrown in jail for stealing a car. He's also 18 when he falls in love.</p>
            </blockquote>





	the light behind your eyes

**Author's Note:**

> this is my like, my first long fanfic ever and im very insecure but I decided to post it bc I couldn't just let it sit in my drafts. oh, and im sorry but im not that informed about the whole prison system. i did a bit of research but i just wrote it like this so the story worked.
> 
>  
> 
> please take a look at the tags!! some content may trigger people and I really don't want that!! 
> 
> if you read this, I'd appreciate it sm if you were to leave feedback, good or bad. I know I need to improve on stuff.
> 
> so thank you and i hope this isn't such a waste of time !
> 
> title from the my chemical romance song with the same name.

Liam tilted his head against the hard leathered seat and thought about how much he despised Louis Tomlinson, the mere mention of his name was enough to make Liam want to personally dismember his body.

Okay, that may be a little of an exaggeration but he doesn't care. He truly desperately loathed the idiot. If he had known that Louis would be the main motive as to why he kept getting himself into such shit situations, he would of never befriended the kid in nursery school. All he ever did was come up with ridiculous ideas that made those bright blue mischievous eyes of his light up with excitement and he just naturally had to rope Liam into every single one of them.

Like that one time, when they had gone away to summer camp and he declared that it would be a good notion to sneak into the girl's cabin and prank them with fake spiders. Liam wasn't quite too sure about it--suggesting that that wouldn't end well for them--but Louis went on to call him a chicken and a scaredy cat and being ten and being called those names was absolutely horrifying. So, he went along with it and let's just say, they ended up going back home that summer with black eyes and busted up lips and everyone in their year laughed at the pair of them for getting punched in the face by girls.

So, yes, Louis sometimes just went a bit too far, but Liam never would have expected for him to literally get them both in the back of a _cop car_.

Now, Liam wasn't putting the full blame on Louis, no, Liam was a smart guy. He was eighteen now, technically a legal adult, he had a conscience. He knew the difference between right and wrong. However, Louis was a master of persuasion, alright, and add in the fact that Liam wasn't really in the right state of mind at the time either and you had a recipe for disaster.

See, this entire thing started when the lads were making their way out of the shopping center and into the parking lots that day. Liam was already feeling pretty gutted and the fact that he was passing by rows on rows of fancy and sleek cars didn't really assist his mood. His own vehicle had just been stolen a couple weeks prior, and he was wrecked without it.

He doesn't even know why, his car was trash, it had a brown rusted door on the right side while the rest of the car was a reddish color. More times than not, it would randomly break down on him, like that time he had finally managed to get a date with a pretty brunette in his year, Danielle, and after having dinner the damn thing just wouldn't start. Liam sincerely knew at that moment that the world hated him as he was forced to call his mother to pick them up. He had worked two long summers before, cutting people's lawns, trimming their bushes, and cleaning their yards just to finally be able to get a car of his own and not have to constantly ask his mum for hers and he was proud of himself and that crappy car.

So, yeah his car was terrible, so damn terrible he doesn't even know why anyone would want to steal it in the first place, but it was his. Therefore, it wasn't really Liam's fault, because honestly, he was allowed to feel sorry for himself every once in a while and when Louis suddenly stopped in front of a brand new 2013 Chevy Corvette and raised his eyebrows, questioning Liam's ability to actually do it, he couldn't resist and _yes, okay_ , he'll admit it already, they stole the damn thing. But give Liam a break, it was a gorgeous deep glistening red and the interior felt and looked remarkable and the leather seats were so comfortable and he couldn't really recall why any of this was a truly immoral idea as he sped down the streets of London, his excellent driving skills never failing him.

Liam kept telling himself they were just taking it around for a bit; they weren't actually stealing it, okay. But once it neared six o'clock and they were still being idiots--Louis in particular to be honest--, freaking out about the stereo and singing along to Bruno Mars, Liam saw the police lights in his rearview mirror before he heard them and knew that none of this was going to end well. And that's how they ended up here with Liam grumbling about how everything is Louis' fault (which it kind of is most of the time).

"Something wrong, mate?" Louis has the audacity to actually ask, grinning, as they're both sat in the backseat of the car.

Liam's plump lips parted slightly at his question, "Louis, you do understand we are in tremendous trouble, right?" As he got the words out, he suddenly felt the panic that was settled in his stomach rise up. "Oh god, you've really done it this time. I think I'm going to throw up, actually." Liam groaned as he leaned forward, feeling sick. He was going to die, oh god, he was so going to die. This is what he deserved, yes, he definitely deserved this, he was such a moron.

Louis chuckled at his best friend's usual over dramatic behavior. "Oh, Liam, calm down will ya? This is exhilarating, our first time in a cop car." The excited brunette nudged the boy's shoulder playfully. "Quick get your phone out, we gotta take a cute selfie!"

"This isn't exhilarating, Louis, oh god, I can't believe you're thinking about taking pictures right now while we're handcuffed, what is wrong with you?"

"It's never not the right time for a selfie, Liam." Louis replied back in a knowingly tone.

Liam leaned back in his seat and closed his eyes, talking to Louis would just frustrate him even more than he already is, he never took anything seriously. The fact that they were currently in a cop car, getting driven to the local police station didn't even seem to startle him one bit and that really had Liam questioning his best friend's mental stability.

"My mum is going to kill me." Liam mumbled as he imagined his mother's face once she hears the news. Liam knows she won't yell at him or anything, what he does know is that she'll more than likely sob convulsively as soon as she takes in the sight of him in handcuffs and seeing his mother's tear stained cheeks and disappointed eyes is far worse than any loud lecture.

"Aw, Momma Payne will get over it." Louis dismissed absentmindedly.

"Now, don't get me wrong or anything, that kinky shit in Fifty Shades seemed fun but these things are just annoying." Louis complained as he twisted his hands behind his back, attempting to get comfortable. Liam sighed, what type of horrific deed did he commit in a past life to get so unlucky as to actually be friends with this guy?

"We're going to jail." Liam announced as if it wasn't already obvious enough.

Louis laughed at him, Liam knew he would, and said, "Oh, please, Liam. You're actually worried about that? It will be a cold day in hell once they lock the Tommo up."

________

It is indeed 11C, which is pretty breezy for London, when Liam and the 'Tommo' get arrested for grand theft auto. They're initially sentenced to eight months in penitentiary, but naturally Louis just had to open his big mouth when he heard that and tell the judge that he was being unreasonable and that the midnight cheesecakes must be making him slightly incoherent.

Liam laughed, he tried not to, but he did anyways because you probably would too if you saw the guy's big red cheeks and saw the vast resemblance between him and Rowley from Diary of a Wimpy Kid. The judge then extends their sentence to a full year for contempt of court, which Liam didn't even know was a thing but apparently it's when you disobey the law in court or something, like insulting the legal official. Louis makes a disgusted face at the judge as he slams his gavel against his desk; Liam has to stop himself from rolling his eyes at him. This was his entire fault, once again.

A lump formed in Liam's throat at the sound of his mum silently crying behind him, he hates that he's made her feel this way. He can't even look back at her and his sisters as their lawyers and a pair of police officers usher them out. Liam feels like a proper convicted murderer as an officer grips his forearm and leads him outside. The man places him into a van that's already awaiting his arrival.

He doesn't understand why Louis and him can't ride together, but apparently it's for safety reasons. Although Louis was sometimes the bane of his existence and the reason why this was even happening to him right now, he was still his best friend and the only one who knew how to comfort him, Liam needed him right now.

Liam keeps his head down the entire journey to Braxton Correctional Facility. The drive is long and tedious and Liam is drowsing off against the window before suddenly a guard with a shaved head and a big beard covering his face is opening his door. Liam startles, quickly recomposes himself, and gets out of the car, which proves difficult with those handcuffs on. He takes a second to examine the place he's about to spend a year of his life at. It's already night time so it's hard to inspect the place clearly with the lack of light. But, it's exactly what you would except from a prison.

It gives off a dark, almost deadly, vibe and seems old and tarnished. There's a tall barbed wired fence surrounding the land, ensuring no one escapes. There's one single skyscraping building in the middle, while four smaller buildings are behind it. No shock value whatsoever, it was a standard jail.

Liam wrinkles his nose as he notices that the windows have bars on them, they were going to treat him like a crazed zoo animal. Which was absurd, because Liam was anything but. He was a straight A student, he liked to cook with his mum for fun, and he rarely ever cursed. Nonetheless, as he's being dragged into the prison by the guard, he has half a mind to break that last character trait and curse his best mate out until he was exhausted of doing so.

The moment Liam gets inside, he's met with a small middle-aged woman typing away on her computer in a brightly lit spacious room. She smiles warmly as she sees the pair of them make their way towards her. The process is fairly simple, really. The guard stands by Liam's side while she assigns him a cell and a job that he'll be required to do during his stay, he's a cook, which he's thankful for, because that's something he's actually good at. She gives him a small schedule and a quick rundown of how things work. She informs him of what will happen if he gets into serious trouble and when visiting hours take place, Liam nods understandingly, storing the information away in his mind, he already misses his mum.

Liam thanks the lady, and she seems surprised at that, he bets she doesn't get that often. He is then brought into another room; this one smaller and dimmer. There are stacks of neatly folded prison uniforms upon three long tables. The guard pats Liam down, checking if he's got anything on him, he doesn't but a small wrinkled up gum wrapper. Once the warden finds Liam clean, he unlocks his handcuffs and starts sorting through the uniforms. Liam rubs his wrist gratefully as he watches him.

"You a large, son?" The guard, whose nametag reads Daniel, inquires as he studies over the clothing. Liam nods, but then realizes he's not even looking at him, "Yes, sir."

Daniel throws a hideous orange jumpsuit at him, but Liam shows no ill feelings as he starts to undress and put it on. Daniel collects Liam's normal clothes once he's done and shoves it into a large plastic zip lock bag. "Liam Payne right?"

"Yes, sir." Liam repeats. Daniel quickly writes his name on the bag with a sharpie and places it in a box with other ones of the same material. Liam assumes he'll get them back once he finally finishes his sentence here.

"Let's get you to your cell."

Liam nodded at his instructions and followed Daniel out of the room in his new clothes, which were kind of comfortable to be honest. He folds his schedule that he received from the lady at the front desk and slips it into his pocket, best to keep it safe. Daniel opens a set of double doors and Liam immediately halts, his eyes widening, as he takes in the crowd of inmates.

They're scattered around the dining room, more than fifty metal picnic tables that allow six people per each one enclose the right side of the enormous room. On the far left side of the room, four sets of steel spiraling stairs are displayed. Daniel leads him towards the second set. Liam keeps close to the guard and directs his view down to his worn out converses. The crowd at the other side of the room is laughing and bantering with their friends, and Liam doubts anyone really notices him at all. However, he can't help but feel overly apprehensive around here.

As they finally get up, Liam passes by cells and cells, ones that are occupied and ones that aren't until lastly Daniel stops in front of one with the numbers 216 painted on top. A lean guy lies in the bottom bunk with an arm thrown over his face. His uniform sleeves are pushed to his elbows, and his dark hair matches the murky shaded tattoos that are wrapped around his arm.

"Malik, wake up. New roomie is here." Daniel calls out to him as he jiggles the bars of the cell, creating an obnoxious noise.

The guy on the bed just mumbles tiredly, but other than that, shows no signs of being awake. Daniel rolls his eyes, frustrated. "Zayn, get up now." His voice more stern and tight, making Liam immediately go rigid. He hopes he never gets talked to like that by a guard here, by anyone here actually, for that matter. Zayn groans dramatically and slowly lifts himself up on his elbows.

"What is it?" He snaps as he rubs his eyes lazily. He has some type of northern accent and Liam finds it kind of adorable.

"Your cellmate is here. Get him settled in, alright?"

Zayn finally looks at Liam, his light brown eyes flicking up and down his body, his stare filled with obvious judgment. Liam smiles back, attempting to be approachable and welcoming; he wanted his cellmate to like him. He wouldn't want to get on his bad side on his first day and Liam also couldn't deny that he was pretty eye-catching, not that Liam was planning on doing anything about that. Zayn turns away his gaze and rolls his eyes in the process, "Whatever." He grunts.

"Good luck, kid." Daniels pats Liam on the back as he departs.

And then Liam is left standing there alone, outside of his appointed cell, as Zayn slumps back against his pillow and closes his eyes. Liam swallows, feeling lost, what was he supposed to do now?

"Hey, uh, I'm-I'm Liam." He introduces himself quietly. Zayn just turns his body around so his back is facing him instead, um okay. Whatever, its not like Liam actually hoped they would be friends or something; they were in prison, why would he care about making friends?

Abruptly, as he took in the sight of the small cell, the full impact of him actually having to stay here for an entire year was determinately slapping him in the face. He wasn't built for this, ask anyone and they would tell you that Liam Payne was the softest and most fragile eighteen year old you'd ever meet, he could never survive in here. What was his family thinking, letting the police just take him like this?

Sure, he stole a car, big deal. That didn't mean they had to throw him in jail, his life has been ruined, his perfect record has been tainted and he's disappointed everyone. Liam wanted out right now, right freaking now. But, he knew that wasn't going to happen and he also knew he was being ridiculous and childish; things he couldn't afford to be. Because he was in prison now, and he had to accept that he didn't have room here for old Liam, old Liam who was stupidly inexperienced. He just needed to calm down and focus on something else.

He took the time to scan his new cell, there was a tiny window with two bars between it directly in front of his line of vision. He cautiously stepped inside, taking a deep breath. The bunk beds that were pushed to the left side of the room blocked his view of the toilet that hid behind it. To the right, there was simply a desk, with a few books arranged on top of each other and a small chair pushed up against it. That's it, Liam notes, he wasn't really expecting much to be honest.

His head is suddenly pounding as he approaches the latter that leads to his bed. Usually, he prefers the bottom one, but that one is obviously already occupied. He slips his shoes off on his new bed and gets under the covers. He falls asleep that night with a distant worrying thought about Louis' whereabouts and his stomach grumbling from lack of dinner.

_________

The insistent sound of a rather annoying whistle is what wakes him up. Liam groggily sits himself up as he hears the clambering of excessive footsteps.

"Come on boys! You know the drill, its time to move!" A warden shouts as Liam watches inmates march on by his open cell. What was going on? Liam's dazed mind wonders incoherently. His vision is blurry from sleep and his throat feels dry as hell, water sounds absolutely brilliant right about now. He looks below himself to see Zayn with his foot prompted upon the small desk chair, lacing his shoes tightly. Guess Liam better just ask him, it's the only option he's got.

"Hey, uh, what's--what's going on?" He stutters. Zayn doesn't even spare him a glance as he rolls his eyes and heads out of their cell. Liam gapes after him and scoffs, yes, he literally scoffs, what was up with him? Was everyone here that rude? Well, scratch that, Liam knew everyone around here was bound to be pretty rude. He didn't have time to dwell on that though, so he slips on his shoes and climbs off his bed. As he steps outside, he instantly bumps into someone else and--thank God, a pair of bright blue eyes are staring back at him.

"Liam! Babe!" His best friend exclaims as he widens his arms, looking as if he's about the hug him, "How are ya?"

Only Louis Tomlinson would be this excited on his first official day of jail. "I'm fine, keep your voice down yes?"

Louis chuckles and throws his arm around Liam's shoulder, making them both walk towards a set of stairs. "What? Everyone here is loud, it's alright, I think I've finally found where my heart truly belongs, Liam."

"Yes, Jail is absolutely perfect for you, Lou." He replies as they step down the stairs and get to the bottom floor, the dining room. Louis directs them towards a table, as inmates go in different directions, obviously already well informed on what to do.

"I sense sarcasm....anyway, have you got any idea what to do?" Louis inquires as they find themselves a small table and sit down across from each other.

"You're the Tommo, right? You're supposed to lead me, mate."

Louis rolls his eyes, "Well, excuse me, I've never really been to jail before. I don't know what is it we do here."

"And that's why you've got me, baby." An unfamiliar deep voice interrupts. Liam looks up to find a curly haired guy, which resembles Liam's own head of curls, with a dimpled smile, his stare a deep green, hovering above them. He's got the face of an angel, but the smirk he has in place gives off a vibe of how truly devious he could be. Liam doesn't quite know if he should be afraid of this guy or inviting to him.

"Harry, where'd you run off to this morning? Come, sit." Louis's loud voice greets the boy, whose name is apparently Harry. Harry sits himself down next to Louis and turns his attention on Liam, smiling brightly.

"Liam, this is Harry, my cellmate. Harry, this is Liam, my best mate." Liam smiles lightly and nods his head at the boy with green eyes.

"Pleasure to meet you, Liam." Harry spoke, his voice charming and pleasant. Liam didn't get a bad feeling from him per say, but he wasn't about to just trust anyone here. This was jail after all. Just that word made Liam want to curl into himself in distress.

"You too."

"So can you help us out babe? We've got no idea what the fuck to do around here." Louis asks Harry.

"Of course, anything for you." Liam doesn't miss the wink Harry throws at Louis, making the other boy smirk in response. Liam fought the urge to roll his eyes, typical Louis. Such a flirt. "Have you lads got your schedules with you?"

Liam's mind goes back to last night when he slipped his folded up timetable into his pocket. He pulls it out and spreads it, smoothing out the wrinkles. He hands it off to Harry, Louis mirroring his actions. Harry scans over both of their schedules and smiles up at Louis.

"You're working the field with me."

"And you're cooking breakfast for the second shift, you just have to report to the kitchen. The ladies there will tell you what to do." Harry instructs Liam.

Liam nods at his words, but couldn't help and feel a bit dejected. He liked that he was a cook, as he had said before, but he was hoping on Louis sharing the same occupation as him. Liam felt so small here, and he desperately depended on his best friend to be around for him. It had always been like that. Louis and Liam. Liam and Louis. They were essentially a packaged deal, if you got one; you got the other as well.

"Alright." Liam murmurs.

"Since we've all got breakfast first hour, we can eat together." Harry states, grinning. Louis nodded in agreement.

"Hey, Niall! Over here!" Harry calls someone over, his right hand gesturing over to their table. A guy with careless yellow hair and intense blue eyes, kind of like Louis', comes striding towards them. A full smile on his face, a mental tray filled with food in his hands. Maybe Liam was wrong about it here, everyone--minus Zayn, of course-- seemed really friendly and nice.

"Styles, why are you over here? Our tables back there."

"I know, I was just helping out these newbies."

"Oh, Hi." Niall beamed. "Didn't notice ya guys were new, me names Niall." He extends his hand out to Liam and smiles even wider when Liam takes it.

"Liam."

He offers a handshake to Louis too, before he plops down next to Liam, his tray hitting the table.

"I'm Louis....." Liam chuckles as Louis looks over at him, his eyebrows raised as if saying 'look at that hot piece of eye candy'

"Nice to meet ya."

Niall then proceeds to eat his breakfast muffin; his eyes fluttering close as the bread touches his lips. Liam hadn't noticed just how hungry he was until now, the last time he had eaten anything being yesterday morning. He didn't get a chance to even suggest going to get some food because just then a bell sounded throughout the entire cafeteria, making the inmates around him reluctantly stand up and throw away their leftovers.

"Curly, what's going on?" Louis demands, his eyebrows furrowed, taking in the crowd of people going in different directions. Liam can't help but be reminded of school with the type of set schedule everyone has around here.

"Breakfast is over, it's time to work."

"LEGO." Niall calls eagerly. Liam wonders what he does around here that has him so delighted.

"Come on, Liam." Louis says as the group of boys stand up.

Liam complies and with his head down, follows them towards the kitchen.

___________

Turns out the cheerful blonde from breakfast has the same job as Liam. So, they quickly get on and Liam is relieved to find out he's actually a decent guy. He chatters away and asks Liam all sorts of questions, which Liam is happy to answer because, really, Niall is just the type of person who makes you feel jolly. He talks about Ireland a lot, but Liam doesn't mind and supposes it's just custom to talk about Ireland as much as possible if you're Irish.

They prepare the lunch for that day and Niall washes the dishes as Liam mops the kitchen floor. It's not the best job in the world, but it's a lot better than when he would clean people's yards in the summer heat. They serve the first round of lunch, but get their break the second shift. Thankfully, Louis has lunch the same time as well and they get to spend some time together.

"So where are you fucks from?" Niall probes as Liam finally gets a bite of food in what seems like forever. The sandwich is soggy and not anything great, but with the way Liam's stomach rumbles in gratitude, you would have thought it was something as good as his mother's apple pie.

"London." Louis answers. His hair is a disheveled mess, the sweat on his forehead causing him his bedraggled appearance. Liam wonders how Louis will adjust to actually working, he's always been the kind of person to get everything he's wanted without actually having to do much.

"Bet you can't guess where I'm from." Niall says in his heavily thick accent. Harry rolls his eyes and smiles fondly at the boy as Liam and Louis chuckle.

"Here comes broody Malik." Niall announces nodding his head towards the back.

Malik? Where had Liam heard that name before?

"Why are you sitting here, you wankers?" Oh. Liam knows that stupid northern accent, he's only heard it once, really, but it's such a distinct voice, Liam can't help but recognize it immediately. Liam's, rude might he add, cellmate stands above the table staring down at Harry and Niall.

His jumpsuit sleeves are off, pushed down to his waist, letting his white t-shirt underneath be shown while his tattooed arms are carrying his tray of food. Liam notes that he seems to be wearing glasses now, which he hadn't been when Liam saw him this morning.

"Decided to change things up a bit," Harry replies, his perfect teeth shining.

Zayn rolls his eyes and appears to finally take in Liam and Louis. Liam avoids his stare and continues to eat his lunch. If he had known Harry and Niall were friends with his arrogant cellmate, he would of never sat down with them.

"Just sit down, Malik, for fucks sake. There's enough room for all of us." Niall orders, Zayn scoffs and sits next to Harry across from Liam.

"Our buddy here, Zayn, doesn't really fancy change, do you?" Harry grins, throwing his arm over Zayn's shoulders.

"These fuckers are Louis and Liam, they're new around here." Niall explains to his friend.

"Yeah, whatever." Zayn mumbles, clearly disinterested, his hands reaching for his sandwich.

Louis seems put off by Zayn's disrespectful manners, but Liam can tell he thinks he's fit either way, with the way his eyes are appreciatively taking in his appearance.

"Right well, what's after this? Please don't tell me we have to work again." Louis pleads.

Harry turns his attention back to the blue eyed boy and smiles, "We're back to our cells after this for like a couple of hours and then we're let out again just to talk, go outside, workout, shit like that. Then we have dinner and then we're locked right back up to go to sleep."

Niall nods along to Harry's words, "Pretty fucking boring, I'll tell ya, only thing that I'm excited about for the entire day is getting to jack off after dinner."

Louis erupts in hysterical laughter, while Liam cracks a somewhat uncomfortable smile.

"And that is why I am internally grateful I don't share a cell with Niall Horan." Harry teases.

"Ah, fuck you, Styles."

"That reminds me, who you sharing with, Liam?" Harry asks. As soon as he speaks, Zayn's eyes flicker to Liam's face. Liam isn't about to admit it, but yes, he was sort of already watching the dark raven-haired boy. Zayn keeps his light brown eyes locked on his and Liam can't figure out why exactly he seems to feel some type of way when Zayn looks at him, it feels different. Liam is the first one to turn his gaze away and answer Harry's question.

"Him, actually." Liam hesitantly answers, his eyes falling back on Zayn.

"Oh, our Zayn?" Niall questions.

"Must explain why he's being such a fucking dick, hah, he doesn't really like sharing his space, do you Zaynie?"

Zayn rolls his eyes, and shoves Harry's arm off his shoulders. "Shut the fuck up."

Before anyone else can talk a guard, who seems to be the leader speaks up, "Alright, get a move on boys! Come on! Back to the compartments!"

"I'll see you boys at dinner then." Niall affirms as he starts walking towards a set of stairs. Zayn is behind him, whispering something to the blonde as they go, but too far away for Liam to hear. The three lads remaining walk up the steps too, Louis and Harry gossiping on, as Liam strolls next to his best friend silently, making extra sure not to get in anyone's way, thinking about how the next few hours would go.

_________

Prison is absolute torture.

Three weeks pass with nothing but Liam's mind thinking, thinking, and thinking. He can't stop freaking thinking. He thinks about his mum, of course, he thinks about her a lot. Then about his sisters and how they are and if they're worried about him. He hopes they aren't, just because Liam was a massive idiot and made a mistake didn't mean that they had to stress out about him.

On his third week here, Liam falls asleep during the time in which he's locked up for countless hours; agreeing that taking a nap would make this period go by faster. Usually, it works and he always wakes up five minutes before recreation time. But, this time he wakes up no more than fifteen minutes later and is stuck with the agony of not being able to go back to bed.

He lays in his bunk, with his arm behind his head, his eyes on the ceiling. Liam sighs, he couldn't remember the last time he had been this bored. He wondered what Louis was doing, he knew for a fact that his best friend couldn't survive these many tedious hours doing utterly nothing. But, then Liam recalls that Louis is sharing with Harry and they've already clearly hit if off and are probably having a great time. He groans, turning on his side, why did he have to listen to Lou? Why did he have to steal that stupid car?

"Will you fucking shut up?"

Liam sits up at the sound of Zayn's voice. He looks down from his top bunk at Zayn, sitting on the small desk chair, his frame leaning over the table, intensely writing something. As usual, Zayn was always on that damn desk.

"Will you quit being a jerk?" Liam challenges. Zayn pauses his actions, and Liam almost regrets saying anything. Almost. Because, honestly, he was over Zayn's attitude and he wasn't about to continue to act as if what Zayn said to him, or better yet didn't say to him, was all right. Liam was a lot of things, he was shy and naïve, and sometimes too kind for his own good, but he also was the type of person to not enjoy being talked to like that. Zayn turns to face Liam, with that cold glare in his eyes. Liam thinks he would look a lot prettier if he stopped being so hostile.

"Listen here, mate, just because my foolish friends seem to like you, doesn't mean I do. I know your fucking type, you're the little fucking rich privileged kid who never did anything bad in his life and got everything he wanted and decided one day to fuck their lives up just to seem cool and hardcore, yeah? Well, I see right through you."

Liam knows he should feel hurt, but he doesn't, not really, all he feels is anger. He's never been so harshly judged and criticized that way in his life. Who was this guy and why did he think he was so freaking superior? He didn't know Liam at all.

Not to mention, everything Zayn said was completely wrong. Liam isn't rich, he's never had to go to bed hungry, sure, but he sure as hell isn't rich. And Liam didn't do anything to appear cool, he was actually kind of bullied his entire life. Liam knows that Zayn expects him to finally blow up and start some type of problem with him, but Liam wasn't about to stoop to his level.

That's what Zayn wanted, he wanted a reaction out of Liam and he wasn't going to give him one. He wasn't about to insult Zayn either, because Liam didn't know anything about him and who was he to judge him after all? That would just make him a hypocrite. He calmly breathes out and lies back in his bed. He hears the sound of scribbling on a paper not a minute after.

He hates it here.

___________

"Mum?" Liam says through the visitation phone. He knows it's his mum; obviously, he just needs to be reassured that she's actually there. After an entire month of not seeing her, he can't help but feel like she might disappear at any second.

"Sweetie, my little baby boy, how are you?"

She looks exactly as he remembers. Karen has always been a small woman, with glasses on her baby blue eyes and her soft blonde hair is still to her shoulders, Liam isn't quite sure why, but he kind of expected her to look different. As if a week away from her, would change her in a way.

"I'm okay. How are you? How are Ruth and Nicola?" Liam questions, desperate to find out how his family has been without him.

"We're fine, honey. We miss you." Karen's soft voice reassures him, "How are they treating you? What's it like in there, Liam?" and it was evident that she was concerned for him.

Liam nods, "It's not great, but no one has really bothered me you know?"

Karen sighs and looks at Liam through the glass window, "So you're okay, baby?"

"Yeah, I mean--I've got Louis and I met some guys and they're pretty nice. Don't worry about me mum, please."

She nods and smiles lightly, but with the sadness in her eyes, it looks forced.

"You met nice people here? Why does that seem a little too hard to believe?"

Liam laughs, "Trust me, I wouldn't believe me either. But, I did mum and they're--they're really lovely to me."

"That's so good to hear, Liam. Please don't start any trouble with anyone, okay? Be careful." Karen insists.

"I know, I know. I will, I promise."

"Good."

"I miss you, mum. I--I......."

"What is it, sweetie?" Karen asks, her hands gripping the phone tightly.

"I just--I'm really sorry for, all of this, you know?" Liam admits quietly, he knows an apology won't do much but he at least needs to tell her.

"I know, baby." Karen's voice is thick and her eyes are slowly brimming with tears. Liam hadn't wanted to make her cry--It seemed like he did that a lot nowadays--he just needed to get these things off his chest. He had a long time to think about everything while he was here and all he really wanted was to sincerely tell her that he was sorry and that he would work hard to make her proud once he got out of here. Liam knew these were those types of meaningless promises that people didn't expect you to fulfill, but Liam was going to try.

"I'll make you proud mum, don't cry, I'll be a doctor, just like how you always wanted me to be. I'll be good to you mum. I won't make this mistake again, I promise."

Karen nods along to his words, unable to speak, afraid that her voice would betray her. She was always a very sensitive woman, Liam had taken that after her, and the situation at hand only brought that out of her.

"I--I really do miss you loads, I wish I could go back home. I wish I hadn't stolen that stupid car, I know you probably think I'll end up like dad, but mum, I won't. I promise I won't." Liam confesses, his eyes on the table. Liam knows mentioning his dad will only get her in an even more emotional state, but he needed to say this, because he knew.

Liam knew that ever since his mother had gotten that phone call from the police station, a seed had been planted in her mind that her baby boy would be another copy of her estranged husband and Liam couldn't have her thinking that.

The chocked sob he hears on the line makes his gut twist horribly, as he looks up to find his mother crying.

She has placed the phone back and has taken off her glasses, rubbing at her wet cheeks insistently. Liam wishes he could hug her or at least comfort her somehow. Liam knows how she must feel, looking at her only son, her youngest, sitting across her in a jumpsuit talking through a prison phone. Liam knows she feels like all of this is her fault, but it isn't. It really isn't. Karen looks up at Liam again; she mouths the words 'I love you', presses her hand to the glass for a second, and stands up, not giving Liam a chance to properly say goodbye. He watches his mother walk away and feels like the biggest failure in the world.

___________

Zayn finds Niall sitting alone, eating his applesauce in a hurry as if that little fucker has somewhere to be, even though Zayn knows for a fact that that's just the way he tends to eat. He sits himself across the Irish lad as Niall looks up and grins at him. Something was definitely wrong with this kid; he was always so happy and giddy.

However, so was Niall's older brother, Greg, which was the only reason why Zayn even talked to Niall. Greg was dating his sister Doniya, which in turn, introduced her brother and Niall. Zayn didn't really care for him at first, but as time went on, he grew on him. So, it was only logical that they would hang together while being here.

"No visitors, mate?" Niall asks. Zayn shrugs as he swipes his friend's milk away. Zayn never got visitors, everyone knew that.

"Hey, blondie." Liam's little friend, Louis, interrupted. Zayn truthfully couldn't stand them both, but the blue-eyed brunette was better than Liam in his eyes, considering he didn't have to spend every fucking second with him.

"Move over, Malik." Harry demanded, patting his back. Zayn complied, only because he wasn't in the mood to discuss with him right now.

"Lou, where's your other half?"

"Liam's right behind me. "

"Liam what?" The boy in question asks, unexpectedly appearing by Zayn's side. Zayn instantaneously rolls his eyes, just the sound of his voice got under his skin. Liam sits besides Louis, not giving Zayn any indication that he's aware of his presence. Good, Zayn thinks, he's more than okay with acting as if the other one didn't exist.

"How'd the visit with the momma go?" Louis asks Liam.

"Fine." Liam answers and it's so painfully obvious that he's lying with the way his big brown doe eyes are vaguely red and wet. Zayn almost feels bad for him; guess little goody two shoes is sick of it here already and was crying to his mum about it.

"Doesn't seem fine."

"She's just--I.....nothing, I'm fine." Liam mumbles, as he looks down at the orange he's peeling.

"Tell me, Li." Louis commands, not giving a fuck that there was other people around and this was clearly a personal matter. Louis seemed like the type of person who was fiercely protective when it came to people he cared about, and whether Zayn liked him or not, he admired that about him.

"She's so disappointed in me, Lou. She doesn't say so, but I know she is." Liam confesses softly.

"Ah, mate, don't worry about that. She'll get over it." Niall attempts to comfort Liam, ruffling his head of curls.

"Niall's right." Harry chimes in, smiling at Liam. Zayn didn't understand why his friends were so nice to these guys, especially Liam; everyone seemed to fucking like him. He hated him for that.

"Of course I am." Niall grins, "Is she disappointed because of what you did to get in here?"

"What did you wankers even do? You guys never said." Harry asks, genuine curiousity covering his features.

"Yeah, mates, what did you get done for?"

Louis expects Liam to reply, but he just goes back to peeling his orange, suddenly over this whole conversation. Zayn doesn't really care about anything that has to do with these fucks, but he'd be lying if he said he didn't want to know what they did to get in here. Probably something ridiculously senseless.

"Come on, we're all mates, I'll tell ya what I did." Niall compromises. Louis gestures for him to continue.

"Alright, well it was two years ago right? I was out having some fun with my mates, getting drunk as fuck, dancing with some girls, normal night, right? Well suddenly, I get this text from one of my clients, I used to be a coke dealer, yeah, I know, proper badass" Niall smirks as Harry rolls his eyes, "and my client's like 'I'm outside, I've got the money, bring the good stuff.' And I'm all for it, ya know, I could do with a couple of hundreds, I think. So I go out super fucking shitfaced, I swear. I see this guy and I go up to him and pull out the stash right then and there in front of everyone and I'm like "Bro, take a hit right now," Well, turns out the guy who I thought was my client was a fucking cop. He checks me and I've got like five pounds of it in me pocket, mates. And that's why I'm here." He shrugs nonchalantly.

By the end of Niall's story, Louis is wheezing from the laugher and Harry is laughing along with him, even though he's heard this story before.

"You honestly tried to sell drugs to a cop?" Liam asks, dumbfounded. He seemed to genuinely find the entire story scandalous, with the way his mouth stood agape.

Niall shrugs again, "I was drunk and I didn't know he was a cop, okay?"

"Didn't the uniform kind of give you a clue? Oh my God, that is rich." Louis chuckles, wiping the tears from his eyes.

"Yeah, whatever, keep laughing. So what did you fuckers do?"

Louis shrugs, "Nothing compared to what you did, we just kind of stole a car."

Yup, Zayn knew it, completely fucking senseless. But who was he to talk? The shit he did to end up here was far worse than that.

"You rebels, I'm turned on, Louis." Harry laughs.

"Fuck you, what did you do huh?"

Harry swallows and looks down for a second before composing his expression and gazing back at Louis. Zayn knows that the whole thing is a pretty sensitive subject for Harry, he doesn't like to talk about it, really, but he doesn't like keeping it to himself when someone asks. Nonetheless, Zayn can see how Harry looks at Louis and he's known Harry for like two years, and it's kind of apparent that he fancies the kid. So, Zayn is sure that admitting what he did to get in here is a whole lot more difficult; Zayn knows it would be for him.

"I'm in here for attempted homicide." Harry states calmly and clearly.

The air around the five boys abruptly turns heavy, the light joking mood vanishing. Zayn catches the way Louis' eyes widen before he gets a chance to recollect himself. Liam coughs in his hand uncomfortably and continues to peel his damn orange. As for Niall and Zayn, they're pretty neutral, they're both quite familiar with the story and don't see it as that big of a deal. There are people in here who have done way, way worse.

"Care to, uh, elaborate?" Louis breaks the silence.

Harry licks his plump lips before responding. "I saw the guy who raped my sister and decided that he should feel the same pain he caused her, so I stabbed him four times. No big deal."

Louis flicks his fringe to the side and nods curtly. "Right. No big deal."

Zayn raised his eyebrow at him, why did he get the feeling that Louis was upset over this rather than frightened? Not that he should be frightened, Harry is sincerely one of the kindest people Zayn knows. It's just weird to him that someone would get mad over the news that Harry just dropped on Louis.

"Yeah." Harry replies and that's the end of that.

_____________

He stumbles upon it by pure chance, really. It's during his recreation hours the next day while he's walking around, being careful to not look at anyone in the wrong way, when he finds it. Louis said he was feeling ill and hadn't wanted to do anything for rec time but stay in his bed and sleep, however Liam knows Louis' behavior had to do with Harry and his confession yesterday at lunch.

Liam hadn't been that surprised, I mean, they were in jail for Christ's sake. What did Louis expect? Did he think people were here on their own free will? Liam knows that Louis had a bit of a crush on Harry, but maybe it was best this way, if he actually started developing real feelings, things would end bad for sure. On that note, Liam left his friend to mope on his own and went on his way, he hated the feeling of being trapped, he wasn't about to hang out in his cell during the only free time he got. Liam walked by the showers, and by the TV room, until he came to a door he had never really noticed before. He hesitated for a moment, before pushing it open and stepping inside.

What he noticed first were the many small, dirty shelves that were offered there to hold the numerous books. Liam hadn't been aware that there were libraries in jails--I mean did people here even read?--, if he had, he would have been in here since day one.

The room is quite small, but definitely bigger than the cells. There are three shabby cushioned chairs in the corners, and a table appeared to be behind a bookshelf farther into the room, it's legs sticking out.

Liam approached the bookshelf closest to him and pulled a novel out at random, he grinned once he realized what it was, _The Shining_ by Stephen King. Liam absolutely adored all his works and classified him as his favorite author. Liam had no reluctance in taking a seat in one of the scruffy chairs provided there, and opening up the book. He had read this book before, yes, several times to be honest. But, it was such a long time ago, that Liam barely remembers much. All he really wanted to do right now was get lost in the horror-filled world that King had created.

He thinks it goes without saying but Liam never really gets what he wants because as soon as five minutes go by and he's barely on the fourth page, he feels someone hovering above him. Liam looks up to find him with his stupid glasses and stupid perfectly styled quiff--which Liam wonders how he even manages to do, like where does he get the hair products from?

"Yes?" Liam questions, his voice laced with politeness.

"What do you think you're doing here?" Zayn demands, his eyebrows drawn together, his lips pressed into a thin line. He was upset, but that wasn't anything unusual.

Ever since, Zayn had told Liam off that time in their cell, they hadn't really spoken much--not that they ever did speak, they just strictly ignored each other now--and Liam had no problem with that. Liam had accepted the fact that Zayn was just one of those guys, the type to not open up and to be critical of everyone around him. Liam didn't need that.

He knew how Zayn felt about him, he knew that he thought Liam felt superior and was spoiled. Even though he was entirely mistaken Liam didn't feel the need to prove himself to him. Why did he have to? Liam would be nice and respectful to him, but he wouldn't be his friend, not with arrogance like that.

"I'm just reading."

"Really? Just reading? Fucking liar." He hisses.

Liam stares up at the livid boy, his mouth agape. He didn't understand what the big deal was.

"Yes, I'm just reading. What's wrong with that?" asks Liam, closing the book and placing it on his lap. He would handle this calmly; he thought to himself, he didn't need problems right now.

"You're what's wrong with that!" Zayn snaps, his hands in tight fists at his sides. He looked like he was fighting so hard to control himself and Liam couldn't help but feel a hint of alarm run through him.

"Listen, Zayn--"

"Shut the fuck up! I have to spend fucking hours with you in that damn cell, I have to spend lunch and breakfast and even fucking dinner with you because my shitty friends seem to fucking love you." Zayn rants, his jaw clenching as he speaks the harsh words, "This time is my only fucking time to fucking relax and get away from you and now you seem to fucking want to hang out here, no fuck you."

Liam is an adult, someone talking down to him shouldn't hurt him that much--especially someone who only seems to have 'fucking' in their vocabulary--but looking up at Zayn and seeing the absolute hatred in his eyes gets to him and he feels his throat clog up. He couldn't understand why this guy, this guy who didn't know him at all, felt such a strong dislike towards him.

Don't cry, Liam, please, please, don't cry.

"What? Is the little white boy gonna cry now? Grow the fuck up. You're in fucking jail."

The sentimental flash has passed, and as Liam hears those words, his body starts to tremble with rage. He's sick of being treated like this, this isn't high school, shit wasn't supposed to be like this anymore. Liam hadn't done anything wrong; Zayn just came and decided to attack him, why did this boy hate him so much? If Zayn wanted him to grow up, then he fucking would. He was done with being nice and composed, this guy obviously didn't fucking get it.

"Get the fuck away from me." Liam snarls, finally letting the acid tone slip into his voice. He had finally cracked and he was okay with that.

Zayn stares down at him for a moment, his expression filled with detestation and annoyance.

"Get up." Zayn demands.

"Don't tell me what to do, I'm done listening to you."

"Get the fuck up, you're so tough right? Well show me, yeah? Get up."

Liam looks down at the book in his lap for a second before he gently places it to the side and rises up, Zayn wasn't going to let this go and he felt weaker sitting down anyway. The boys were about the same height so they both stared each other down at eye level. The tension in the room was dense and they both knew this wasn't going to end well. This had been building up for a long time now, since the moment Liam stepped into this prison, really.

"There, that's what you wanted. Now leave me the fuck alone." Liam says, his face inches away from Zayn's. Up this close, Liam could notice just how light his eyes were behind his glasses, almost hazel in a way, and his eyelashes seemed to sweep long and soft.

He had never really seen a guy with such long ones like that, Liam nearly laughed, because Zayn was pretty. He was a fucking pretty boy, but the interior was nothing like his exterior. How could he judge Liam for being a 'spoiled rich white kid' while Zayn obviously groomed himself to look good constantly?

"You're telling me to leave you alone?" Zayn laughs humorlessly, backing away a bit and smiling in a mocking matter at the other boy. "You're the one who fucking seems to follow me everywhere!"

Liam rolls his eyes before sighing, "I'm not fucking following you, why would I be following you?"

"I don't know, you tell me."

Liam snickers darkly in his face, "Who do you think you are? You're in here with the rest of us. You're a fucking nobody. Don't pretend like you're something special, you're not."

The words were cruel, Liam knew that, but he didn't care. He wanted to get back at this boy; he wanted to make him feel like shit, just like how he made Liam feel.

Zayn glares at Liam before he thrusts the boy backwards. "And you, huh? Tell me why you walk around here like nothing can touch you!"

Liam stumbles back but balances himself before he can fall. His nostrils flare and his irritation just bubbles up within him. Liam vaguely remembers how things were like in school and how every single fucking guy seemed to think it was fun and cool to fuck with Liam every time he was around. He was pushed and shoved and kicked, but that had only toughened him up, that had only made him stronger so he could take on stuff like this. Liam's exasperation at being touched like that by Zayn and his pent up resentment from his experience in high school only prompted him to take this farther.

"Maybe I'm scared, have you ever thought about that, maybe I put up a front?" Liam pushes back at the boy, "You act like you're so fucking better than everyone. You're a hypocrite. Admit it."

Liam's actions obviously infuriate Zayn because as soon as his hands push the boy back, Zayn is gripping Liam's collar tightly and shoving him against the bookshelf. The books rattle at the sudden movement, but Zayn just presses against Liam even more. He swallows the lump in his throat as Zayn's eyes meet his, "Don't call me that. You don't fucking know me!"

Liam laughs bitterly at his words, his fear still there but subsided, he wasn't about to back down now. "And you think you know me?"

Liam watches the intensity in Zayn's eyes flicker at his question. His grip on Liam loosens, but he doesn't let go.

"I know your type."

"You don't know me at all." Liam replies, his voice suddenly soft and simple.

It gets quiet from that moment forward, their breathing labored, heavy from the built up anger and the only thing that can be heard in the room. It's not awkward as they watch each other, but it's not intense anymore either and suddenly they realize just how close they are. Zayn smells like coffee and Liam thinks it's ironic that the way he smells matches his skin tone.

His eyes don't hold that common glare in them any longer, Liam realizes, and somehow things have slowed down, they're completely still. The air around them melts away as Liam relaxes into the position he is, still pressed against the shelf and all Liam can see is the mocha-skinned boy in front of him, gripping his collar loosely. Liam could easily break away from his hold, but suddenly he doesn't really feel the need to do so.

Liam doesn't miss the slight second in which Zayn's hazel eyes drop down to his lips, Zayn leaning in an inch closer.

No, he must've imagined that, all of that. Liam should walk away already, he should shove Zayn off, he hates the guy, he truly loathes him, so why was it so difficult for him to move when Zayn was looking at him like that? Zayn holds Liam's gaze as he inches closer and closer and fucking closer until his breath is on his lips and all Liam can fucking do is stand there.

_Push him away, you idiot._

Liam's hands go up and press firmly at Zayn's chest, shoving him back slightly, almost reluctantly. The shift causes Zayn to remove his hands fully and step back. Liam looks on as the other boy stares down and snores lightly, his thumb rubbing his lower lip.

"Zayn, I--" Liam stops himself as he watches Zayn start for the exit and walk out. He exhales as he sees the door close.

________________

"I'm just saying, don't you think he should have told me?" Louis asks Liam for the tenth time that day.

Liam loves his best friend, truthfully, he does, but sometimes he just can't stand his constant chatterings about things that truly didn't matter. All day long, he's been talking Liam's ear off, complaining about Harry.

They were the only ones in the TV room, slumped on the battered couch. They had been keeping to themselves mostly, never trying to interrupt people and never wanting to get into any trouble. So, once they had noticed that the TV room was unoccupied, with the exception of two guards, of course, they hurried right into it and settled themselves. Louis took it upon himself to immediately begin discussing the Harry problem, as he so liked to call it and Liam just sat there, his expression disinterested as he heard Louis repeat the same lines over and over again.

"I mean, I guess." Liam tried to get into the show that was currently on, but it was a cooking segment and even though he loved cooking, baking, all that sorts of stuff, he couldn't help but be reminded of his mum whenever he watched it. So he titled his head towards his best friend as Louis started to complain again.

"He tried to murder someone, Liam. Murder. Don't you think someone should have had the decency of telling me this before I started-"

Liam raised his eyebrows amusingly at Louis' sudden halt.

"Before you what?" asked Liam, as Louis stared down at his fingernails. He shrugged nonchalantly, "Nothing, Li."

"Go on, tell me."

"Nothing, I didn't mean anything by it. It was a slip of the tongue."

Liam rolls his eyes, because did Louis actually think he was going to buy that excuse? Louis has been his best friend since grade school, they're practically like brothers, he's pretty sure he's well aware of when Louis was being truthful or when he was keeping something from him.

"Let me guess, before you started having naughty dreams in which you and Mr. Stabby were rolling around naked?"

Louis gasps--loudly--of course, how else would you expect Louis Tomlinson to feign astonishment?-- attracting the attention of the two guards in the far corner of the room. Louis smiles as he waves at them, courteously. They nod at Louis and start speaking to each other in hushed tones once they sense everything is all right.

"How dare you say that?" Louis asks, appalled, his eyes returning to Liam.

"Mr. Stabby? It's a joke, Lou. Relax."

"What? No, I don't care about your awful joke. I meant, why would you think I have had naughty dreams about Harry?"

Liam chuckles as he looks at his friend's shocked and slightly offended expression.

"Probably because I'm 99.9% sure you have." Liam dismisses.

"I would never have sex with a killer, Liam. Even one as gorgeous as him."

Liam raises his brows as he smirks; Louis was just too good at going against his own stance. "Ah, so you think he's gorgeous?"

Louis huffs a breath out in frustration and rearranges himself so he's facing the TV rather than Liam. "Just shut up."

Liam looks at him, his teasing mood suddenly nonexistent. He knew he was being an arse and not listening to his friend, when he was clearly going through a predicament right now. Liam was just always so used to having a joking and fun Louis around, that when a pouty Louis appeared, he didn't quite know what to do.

"Sorry, Lou. You can tell me anything, you know that right?"

Louis' crossed arms and irritated appearance indicate his unwillingness to talk to Liam any further. He didn't understand what the big deal was with this anyways. It's not even like Harry was a bad guy or anything, he probably just got caught up in some unpleasant things in life as so many often do, he was nothing like Liam's own cellmate.

Liam's mind flashes back to two days ago and how things with Zayn went about in the library. He tried not to, he really did, but he hadn't been able to stop thinking about that moment ever since it happened. He can clearly remember the way Zayn looked at him, a look that Liam had never seen on him, and how his hands felt when they held him against the bookshelf. He remembers the rhythm of his heavy breathing from their argument, the way he walked away from him after Liam had pushed him off.

Liam hadn't tried to address what had happened and neither had Zayn. That didn't mean that Liam's mind didn't seem to endlessly be turned on this switch in which all he could think about was hazel eyes.

"You think it would be horrible of me if I actually, ya know..."

Liam quickly shifted the gear in his head and turned his care back to his comfort-seeking friend.

"What?"

Louis's perfected eye roll makes an appearance at the stupidity of his best friend's question. "If I actually liked him..."

Liam smiles lightly, "Lou, of course it wouldn't. Harry's a nice guy, it's not like he actually did kill someone....he just tried to, you know. Big difference."

Louis purses his lips and looks down at his lap for a second, debating something in his mind. Louis had this thing where he usually never thought before he spoke, and the fact that he was actually considering his words surprised Liam a bit.

"At least I haven't got your cellmate, wouldn't have been able to resist fucking that one."

That shuts Liam up for the rest of the hour.

______________

Liam is ushered into his cell by a nearby guard once recreation time is up. Zayn isn't in yet, so he doesn't bother locking him up and leaves him in the pursuit to go escort other inmates to their selected cellblocks. Liam sighs as he takes a seat in the worn out chair, he was dreading the hours that would soon come. He glances at the desk briefly, a fleeting movement, really before he does a double take.

A dry piece of paper was placed upon the metallic top, and the drawing on it was simply _breathtaking_ , there was really no other word for it. The setting of the picture was a forest-like place with leaves falling from trees, flowers littering the ground, but it was centered on a small innocent looking girl with long dark hair that fell in waves around her shoulders.

It was done by pencil, which made the painting grey but Liam knew that it was meant to be filled with color. The realistic aspect of it all and the way the young girl was portrayed made Liam take the portrait and examine it more closely. Had Zayn done this? It was incredible; he hadn't known he could draw this well. He hadn't known he could draw, period. Liam had just assumed he was writing while he hogged the desk, he never took the time to actually look at the things he had been doing.

The bang of the metal bars locking shocks Liam, making him drop the paper and jump from the chair instantly. Zayn stands in front of him, his hands in his pockets, as he takes in Liam's caught off expression.

"What?" Zayn's northern accent comes out in an annoyed matter. Liam shakes his head curtly and looks away, his piercing gaze would haunt him forever if he let them. Zayn scoffs and takes his place at the desk where Liam had previously sat. He watches Zayn collect his pencil and start right at work, darkening the outline of the tree he had made, shading in the girl's pretty face. Liam stands above his shoulder all the while he does so, closely watching the picture as he put the minor touches on his unfinished drawing. It really was quite nice to see someone bring their imagination to life with nothing but a pen and paper.

"That's really brilliant," Liam lets slip out before he can stop himself. He hears Zayn swallow and watches as he slowly sets his writing instrument down.

"You done stalking me, yeah?"

Liam bites his lip bashfully and curses himself for being so daft, why did he have to open his mouth?

"Sorry, just thought your drawing was good, is all." Liam explains, and after a minute of ignored silence, gradually climbs up to his bunk. He sits cross legged with his back resting against the wall, he didn't even care for his dirty converses on his bed sheets, he never did.

This was how things went most days. Liam sat on his bed and Zayn sat on his desk--which was supposed to be theirs, really, but it's not like Liam was about to pick a fight over a fucking desk. Time would drag on and Liam didn't know if this was true for Zayn as well, but all he could think about for two days straight now was his cellmate.

It wasn't really Liam's fault though, so what if he constantly thought about dark hair and flickering eyes? He was bored, he had nothing to do, nothing else to think about. Thinking about his mum and sister was just a flood of hurt. All he was doing was keeping his mind occupied, was what Liam feed his silly mind to believe. There was nothing more to it.

The quietness had just become something Liam was quickly becoming accustomed to, and he had recognized that this was just how he was going to live the next year of his life. Therefore, it was a little more than unbelievable when the older boy spoke.

"Do you really think so?" Zayn's voice was soft, almost as if he was too uncertain to actually ask. Liam sat up straighter and directed his view down to the boy, who kept his observance on his work.

"I--yeah, you're--you're really good."

Zayn chuckles--he honestly laughs, and not in a condescending way, more of a hey that's funny way.

"That's not true." Zayn shakes his head, and continues to outline his work. Liam struggles to find the appropriate words to say next, this was the first time Zayn and him were really talking, without any obvious hatred amongst them.

"I'm being serious. You're--you're great. How did you learn?" Liam hated how he seemed to be such a stuttering mess, he didn't even know why he was having trouble forming orderly sentences, this wasn't anything to be flustered by. He just felt such a strong need to keep this going, whatever this was, because he truthfully wanted Zayn to like him. He didn't want any of the tension that surrounded them anymore, he didn't want Zayn to eventually get so sick of him and break his face, he wanted them to be friends.

"My grandfather kind of gave me lessons when I was younger and, I don't know, it stuck with me." Zayn informs, still doodling. Liam nods, although the other boy isn't even looking his way.

"Well, it's great. Should think about selling them, if the rest of your drawings are as good as that one." Liam praises, a shy smile on his face.

Zayn turns around at that. He looks up at Liam where he's sat on his bunk. He looks almost confused and surprised, leaving Liam completely lost. Had he said something wrong again?

"You mean that?"

"Yeah, I--I do." Liam answers genuinely.

Zayn _smiles_ , and it's such a breathtaking sight, even more beautiful than his drawing. His eyes crinkle a bit, and it quickly leaves as soon as it comes, but Liam has already permanently memorized the image. Liam is having trouble figuring out why Zayn has had such a change of mood, of personality. He's actually speaking to Liam, without calling him names or raising his voice, he even smiled at him. Had what happened in the library affected the way he was acting now?

"Don't believe ya.......but thanks." Zayn says quietly as he turns around, his back facing Liam. Liam knows not to say anything else, that the conservation is over. But, he can't help the face eating grin that overtakes him unknowingly as he stares at the boy drawing away on his desk.

__________________

Zayn isn't quite sure how it happens. It just kinda fucking happens.

He actually finds himself becoming Liam Payne's friend. The fact that he even knew the boy's surname should give you a hint as to how much they have gotten to know each other. Liam is an interesting guy. He talks a lot about his family and his favorite movies--which happen to all be superhero movies--and he hums tunes to songs a lot, and Zayn kinda likes that.

He always loved music. Liam asks him about himself too, but has quickly realized Zayn isn't really the type to open up, not in a bad way, Zayn's just quiet most of the time. And Liam is okay with that. Liam sometimes comes up behind him while he's drawing a sketch and goes on to praise him and his 'artistic skills' as he so likes to call them.

Zayn brushes it off most times, because, really, he's not that good. He just does it because he's bored and he has a lot of time on his hands and it reminds him of his grandfather, and he doesn't like to admit it, but truthfully he misses him a lot and doing this just makes him feel closer to him.

Liam smiles a lot when they talk, and sometimes at night when they both can't sleep, Liam will ask Zayn what his favorite song is. And once Zayn replys, Liam will sing it back to him softly until Zayn has fallen asleep. Zayn doesn't quite know why Liam seems to be so nice to him, after everything Zayn did, he's sure they would of never gotten along.

But Liam is different, he's genuinely kind, and he's probably the realest friend Zayn has had in years.

And the thing is that Liam is all soft smiles, that make his eyes crinkle and his entire face light up. He's messy curls, that are almost light blonde in the sun. He has big brown eyes and perfectly full pink lips, and Zayn kind of finds himself staring more times than not at his mouth, rather than listening to the words that come out of it.

However underneath, his soft surface, Liam is built and tough. And Zayn finds himself attracted to the kid, like, yeah, he'll admit it, he's proper fit.

Despite all of that, Zayn tries to ignore these thoughts often, because if he were to emerge himself in them, he's afraid he would fall too deep and not be able to pick himself up again. He couldn't afford that.

"You excited for tonight?" Liam asks from the floor as he does his daily crunches, his breath coming out in small huffs. Liam liked to work out. Zayn liked to sit on his ass on top of his bunk and stare at Liam while he worked out.

"It's whatever."

Liam stops and pulls himself up, fully sitting on the floor instead of on his back, "It's not whatever. It's movie night!"

Zayn shrugs. Movie night wasn't something that occurred regularly in Braxton. It only happened when most inmates were on good behavior, and ever since Liam and Louis showed up, things had been pretty good around here.

"What do you think we'll watch?" asks Liam, going back to his exercise.

"Probably something old."

"I'm hoping it's something funny, be good to have everyone in here laughing, right?"

Zayn smiles faintly at the young boy on the floor. He couldn't even remember why he had taken such a disliking to him the first time they met, it was probably because Zayn didn't like sharing his space, as Harry had mentioned, it was true after all. Or maybe it was because Liam was truly such a pretty face, and Zayn just didn't want to admit to himself that he may have been attracted to him since the moment he looked up and found him standing there, looking warm and small, at the opening of his cell.

"Yeah, that'd be good." Zayn replies a minute after. Liam finally finishes and lays flat on the floor, his arms spread out, his head tilts up towards Zayn and he smiles. Zayn smiles back for only a second, before looking away and biting at his lip.

___________________

"Let's sit in the front, yeah?" Liam suggests giddily as he walks towards the first few seats that are set up in the front of the cafeteria. The rest of the boys follow along behind him and sit down.

"Excuse me, sir, what is it exactly we're watching?" Louis asks politely to a nearby guard.

"A cartoon." He grunts and moves toward the back of the room, clearly not in the mood to get questioned by inmates.

"A cartoon? So no boob action? Where are my tits!" Niall all but hollers as Liam giggles at his outburst. That boy was a complete mess, and would genuinely explode if he didn't get the attention of a female soon.

"They're right here, baby." Harry mocks him as his pushes his chest towards Niall and makes kissy faces. Niall rolls his eyes, and shoves Harry away. No one joked about boobs around him, that was a serious issue.

"They're such idiots." Zayn whispers to Liam, his mouth hot on his ear. Liam's laughter trails off, as he looks up at his friend through his eyelashes.

Zayn smiles slightly and Liam can't help but grin back. Why did they always do that with each other? It was like they couldn't be in a foul mood in each other's presence. It was pretty laughable, actually, because just three weeks ago they couldn't stand to be near one another. And if they ever did make eye contact, they would just glare at each other, daring the other to turn away first.

Liam was glad things had changed. He liked this. He liked Zayn.

"Shut up, you twats, it's starting." Louis hisses at Niall and Harry, pulling Liam's attention from the boy seated next to him. The room immediately went dimmer and the film on the projection appeared. Liam was happy to see that it was an old Tom and Jerry cartoon, it was one of his favorites.

"My favorite." Zayn spoke softly to Liam.

"Mine too."

As the cartoon played on, Zayn placed his arm around Liam's chair leaning on to his shoulder, which immediately made the younger boy stiffen. Zayn kept his attention on the screen and didn't seem to notice. Liam, on the other hand, couldn't help but think about anything other than the boy next to him. He swallowed, and tried to laugh at the silly acts the cat and mouse were doing, but he couldn't.

Why was he even touching him like this in the first place? Was this friendly, or was Zayn trying to hint at something? No, of course not, don't be stupid, Liam. He obviously wasn't interested in him. Just because his arm is around him didn't mean anything. Zayn didn't even look like he was into guys. It was a miracle they were even friends, it's not like Zayn would ever like someone like Liam.

____________

The cartoon finished quickly since Liam was so distracted and in no time the lights were back on and the rest of the boys were getting up.

"Head on back to your rooms, boys, and behave." A guard demanded, leading the way to the cells.

"Well, fuck, that was boring." Louis complained, throwing his arm over Liam's shoulder, faking a yawn in the process.

"It was funny," Liam protested as he walked behind the rest of the boys.

"I'm not even straight, but I agree with Niall. Tits would have been nice to seen."

Liam laughed at his best friend until he caught a guy with heavily tattooed arms and a shaved head deliberately bump into Zayn's shoulder in front of him.

"My bad, Malik." Liam noticed the way Zayn's shoulders immediately tensed and how his hands balled up into fists at the words of this man.

"Keep your hands off of me, _faggot_." Zayn snapped back.

Liam tried to not flinch, but the words hurt him. They weren't intended for him, he knew that, but was Zayn really that type of person?

Maybe that's why he hadn't liked Liam in the beginning, was it that obvious he was into guys? Liam dated a few girls, and he liked girls, yes, but he knew what he liked best and that was boys.

"Wow, wow, didn't mean to start trouble, Zayn. Why so defensive all of a sudden?" The other guy taunted with a cocky smirk. Liam resisted the urge to roll his eyes, he already felt a strong dislike towards him.

"Don't even start this right now."

"Why? You've gotten bored of me? You don't like playing games with me no more, Zaynie?" He mocked.

"Mark, just back off, yeah?" Niall stepped in, pulling Zayn away by the arm. Zayn's breath came out unevenly and Liam knew he was pissed.

"What just happened?" Louis asked as the boys finally got to the stairs.

"Nothing. Get the fuck off it." Zayn replied harshly and kept his head down all the way to their cell. Everyone knew better than to say anything after that.

"See you tomorrow then, Li." Louis whispered, pulling him into a hug once they stopped in front of cell 216.

Liam frowned at the older boy as soon as the cell locked in place, what was all that about?

He decided not to ask and instead climbed on to his top bunk. He pulled his covers back and tucked himself in. Liam knew Zayn was a quiet person and didn't like to share much, and Liam respected that, he really did. He wasn't going to ask anything.

"You liked the movie?" Zayn broke the silence, his voice coming out in a calming matter. Nothing like it had been before.

"Yeah, did you?"

"Yeah."

"That's good."

And Liam knows he just said he wouldn't ask, but he's kind of a liar okay? And he's not going to fall asleep until he figures out why that guy was such a douche to him so he inhales slowly and says, "Who was that?"

There's a long pause in which all Liam hears is the movement of bed sheets. "Just some fucker."

"You don't like him." Liam states, more than questions.

Zayn snorts, "Is it that obvious?"

Liam smiles at the dark room. "Just a little."

"It doesn't matter."

"Zayn--"

"Fuck it, okay, his name is Mark and I hate him and he hates me. There's not much else to say." Zayn snaps.

"Alright, I'm sorry....just, sorry."

Zayn sighs heavily, "Don't apologize. It's...it's fine. I'm not mad at you or anything,"

The thing was the whole situation was still bothering Liam and he didn't know why. Okay, maybe he did know why, but he wasn't all that comfortable asking.

"Zayn...I...can I ask you something?"

"Mm."

"Back there, you said, I mean--do--do you have a problem with me?" asks Liam, tentatively.

"What? Why would you think that?" Zayn questions, his voice laced with confusion.

Liam exhaled, fuck, just come out with it man.

"I like sucking dick. Do you have a problem with that?"

Silence stretches on for a moment between the boys and Liam is itching desperately at his bottom lip, awaiting Zayn's response. As time continues, Liam wonders if he will even get one. He's such a moron, who in the right mind comes out like that to a friend, especially in prison?

Zayn probably didn't even know he was gay and was completely shocked at the revelation and doesn't quite know how to answer, yeah, maybe that's it.

"You're kind of an idiot." Zayn chuckles.

Liam crinkles his eyebrows, okay, he didn't expect that reply. "What?"

"I don't have a problem with that, Liam. I happen to like guys too."

Liam's drowsiness has suddenly vanished and he's in no position to want to fall asleep soon. Had he heard right? "I'm sorry, what? You -- I...didn't know that." He trails off, feeling incredibly stupid.

"It's not like I'm shouting I like dick around like you, but yeah, I think guys are fit. I'm attracted to them."

Liam's cheeks flame in the dark, maybe he should've worded his confession a bit more differently, but Liam is quite daft sometimes and words were never really his best quality.

Plus, Zayn kind of makes him nervous, more so than with other people. "I'm stupid, I'm sorry."

"Stop apologizing, yeah?"

"I'm--Yeah, right. Okay."

"Night, Liam."

Liam smiles in his pillow before responding, "Goodnight, Zayn."

_____________

"You know, I had assumed prison was going to be a little bit more horrible than this," Liam says from his top bunk as Zayn sits in his own, reading the book he had borrowed from the library. Zayn smiles and folds the top of the page he's currently on down to keep his place. "Is that so?" Zayn yawns as he stretches out on his hard flat mattress.

Liam hums, "Aside from the food and how absolutely boring it is 24/7, it's not that bad."

Zayn chuckles and rolls his eyes at the younger boy. "You seem to keep forgetting that you're the one who makes the food."

Liam scoffs and drops his head to look at Zayn from where he's laying. Zayn smiles brightly, as if he didn't just insult him and he's the most innocent person in this world. "Yes, and when I cook, I make my dishes extra fucking good. I don't make the food I eat, Zayn."

Zayn sits up, coming closer to Liam, shakes his head and tilts it to side as if saying oh really?

"I'm sure that's true, Liam."

"It is, you little annoying punk." Liam counters back playfully, his smile grower even bigger, if that was possible.

"What ya call me?" Zayn demands feigning shock, his voice sounded serious and Liam would've believed he was being honest, if he hadn't broken out into a massive grin after he had said it.

Liam swiftly jumps off his top bunk, yes, he's a very skilled man and Liam is pretty proud he didn't fall flat on his ass like last time, and shamelessly attacks Zayn. He grabs a hold of his sides and begins to tickle the hell out of him, with the grand knowledge that that is Zayn's number one weakness. "No, not fair, no Liam." Zayn wheezes out between his fit of giggles. He thrashes around under Liam's hold and Liam can't help but laugh at the way his pink tongue slips between his teeth as he chuckles.

"Liam, please---I'm--ah!--stop-- Sorry!"

"Sorry for what, huh?"

Zayn's face is red as he attempts to slap Liam's fingers away, his laughter loud enough for the entire cell block to hear him. But he didn't care. Liam didn't care about anything right now, really, other than looking down at this boy in his arms with a smile that resembles the sun, and he knows thats a horrible cliche, Louis would probably punch him for it. But, that's just the way it is, Zayn is usually so broody that when he does show signs of being carefree, it's kinda hard to tear away your gaze because the sight is just so, so beautiful.

"For being." Giggle. "A little" Giggle. "Annoying punk." Zayn finally manages to get out. Liam decides then to stop his torment and let him slide. He beams as he gets off Zayn and sits next to him.

"You're fucking evil." Zayn says at the same time that he recovers his breath and sits up.

Liam shrugs and bumps his shoulder to Zayn's, hoping he wasn't upset with him but knowing that Zayn wouldn't be. The first few weeks of them basically hating each other seems like it had never happened. With the way that the boys were with one another now, you would've thought they have known each other for years. "You know I fucking hate that,"

"I know." Liam replies, because he does. He knows a lot about Zayn now to be honest, this is just a small fact that he's mentioned to him absentmindedly. Liam knows Zayn loves superheroes, like, really loves them.

That's something they've got in common. He knows he has three sisters, and although Liam would like to know more about them considering he's got sisters of his own, Zayn never elaborates. Zayn's good at almost everything, he can write, draw, and on the off chance that he catches him singing, he definitely shows the vocal skills for that. And he's unnatuarally gorgeous. He also happens to be aware of the fact that Zayn likes guys too, and yes, Liam is kind of being a hopeless romantic here, you can say.

Liam knows, okay, he fucking knows that it's very, very wrong for him to think that way of his cell mate and he's an idiot. He's an idiot for letting himself fancy this guy with these long eyelashes and pretty, pouty lips. He's an idiot because he just knows he's gonna end up getting hurt. However, when he really thinks about it, he's okay with it. He'd rather like for Zayn Malik to be his first real heartbreak, and reject him ruthlessly, he wouldn't mind.

"You're such an arse." Zayn complains, resting his head against Liam's shoulder, his words completely opposite to his actions. He sighs, sounding tired and Liam smiles down at him. He often wonders what this beautiful boy ever did to end up here, Zayn's just so tiny and delicate (and so fucking adorable, but Liam is sure that's just his dumb crush talking) when they're alone together, he can't picture him doing something illegal.

From what Niall has let slip, Zayn has been here for about three years already. Liam has thought about asking, he really has, and sometimes he catches himself about to do just that, but he doesn't. He knows Zayn and if he wanted Liam to know that information, he would've told him already. That doesn't mean Liam doesn't think about it from time to time, just wondering about all the possibilities.

He doesn't believe Zayn is a bad guy. Although everyone around here seems to make him out as one.

___________

That night, as Liam finishes his rendition of 505 by the Arctic Monkeys, of course, which Zayn had admitted was his favorite song when he was younger because he had been hopelessly obsessed with some boy in school who loved that band, he's left staring up at the bland ceiling for twenty minutes after he's sure the boy below him has already drifted to sleep. He continues to hum the lyrics in his head as he wills himself to go to bed, he didn't like staying up without any distractions, he didn't fancy his thoughts this late at night since everything seemed to revolve around his family back home.

"Liam?" Zayn softly whispers into the room. The words fade into the darkness of the cell, and Liam makes no move to reply, because he's not really in the mood to talk. He'd just like to go to sleep.

"You awake?" whispers Zayn again. A moment passes, and Liam doesn't want to reply, but he's about to anyway, because he just can't ignore Zayn, especially when his voice is this soft and gentle sounding, when he suddenly hears something like a zipper being pulled down. Liam crinkles his eyebrows slightly at the noise, but keeps still, making no sound or movement at all.

The sound of bed sheets being rearranged and the bunk creaking faintly is heard before Zayn sighs deeply. It's complete silent for a while after that, and Liam is about to roll to his side and close his eyes before he hears it. It's quiet, really, and soft, so so soft. But Liam's ears immediately perk up, because is this really happening right now?

"Fuck," Zayn pants, lightly answering Liam's nonspoken question. He swallows inaudibly, the realization of what's happening just a few feet away from him, hitting him, making the younger boy's insides swell up with a radiating warmth.

Liam isn't that surprised, so to say, that Zayn is jacking off. They're all young guys with needs, right? It's just. This is different. When Niall mentions doing things like this, it's funny, because - well - it's Niall. This is Zayn, beautiful, intelligent Zayn. The Zayn in which Liam shamefully likes more than a friend. The Zayn in which Liam shamefully would like to have ruin him with only his mouth and hands.

Liam's dick twitches uncomfortably in his bottoms as he hears Zayn whimper quietly, his breathing coming out unevenly. Holy shit.

Liam shuts his eyes, and tries, really he does try, to desperately not think about Zayn touching himself, his hand around his hard length, his mouth parting open as he whimpers. Holy shit, Liam hisses in his head once again.

As Zayn's pants became louder, and the bed creaks along to the motions of his actions, Liam is fully fucking hard and feeling like the biggest pervert. He can't exactly just tell Zayn to stop, because he would obviously embarrass the guy and he didn't want to wake up the next morning and have that awkward as hell confrontation. He's also pretty sure he can't really speak right now.

"Ah, fuck. Yeah." Zayn moans gently, clearly trying to be quiet and not awake his friend. If only he knew.

Liam places his hand over his dick and prays that his hard on goes away soon and Zayn stops, because he's not too sure he's strong enough to just stay put here while he continues to makes those sounds. He's about ready to crowd Zayn into his bunk and press his lips to his surely throbbing cock.

It's moments later when the noises finally cease and Liam almost sighs out in relief, because holy shit. Just, holy shit. That was probably the hottest thing Liam's ever heard and as he hears Zayn zip his pants back up again, he realizes that he wants to listen to those noises every day for the rest of his life. Except, just a little differently. Instead, he'd like to be the one causing them, and not Zayn's hands next time.

______________

Liam never really gave much thought to how jail showers would be, but he didn't think they'd be quite so accommodating. Okay, they weren't anything lavish by any means, however the water wasn't uncomfortably freezing or scalding hot, and they gave you fifteen minutes to wash up. He was thinking he'd been lucky to get five minutes for his once a week shower time. Zayn is standing next to him as he rubs the brightly colored orange soap over his chest, scrubbing away the invisible filth and grime.

Last night's incident was still clear in Liam's mind, every time he looked at the boy all he could hear were the low moans and groans he gave in pleasure, and it surely didn't help that they were both currently naked. He hadn't even looked down, because he felt like a big enough pervert already. This was just going to be his little secret, he wasn't going to tell Zayn any time soon, or even Louis. Oh, god, Louis would have a field day if Liam ever recounted the events that took place.

"You okay?" Zayn's familar and concerned voice questions. Liam turns to him, and is once again kind of blown away by his utter, fucking, incredible beauty. Was it really fair to be that stunning? Zayn's dark hair is wet and pushed away from his face, while his shoulders are dripping in tiny water droplets. His bronze chest is just asking to be marked and bruished by Liam's lips, "Fine, yeah."

"Don't drop the soap." He advises with a smirk, raising a perfect eyebrow at Liam. Liam rolls his eyes fondly, and holds on to the soap in his hands tightly, "That's a myth."

"How would you know?"

Liam chuckles at Zayn, and finally seems to forget his petty thoughts with the playful banter that they were presently having. Sure, he heard Zayn getting off last night, sure, it was hot as fuck, sure, he totally wanted nothing more than to kiss those pretty red lips of his, and sure, Zayn would never like him in the same way he did him. It wasn't a big deal, this was life. Generally, this was more of Liam Payne's life and he had to accept that and move forward.

"I may be dumb, but I don't fall for that bull." Liam states, shaking his head at the boy next to him, handing him the soap, "Take it." Liam squirts shampoo into his palm and runs it through his soaked mess of curls as soon as he's free of the citrus soap.

"Take it? Pretty agressive there, Payne." Zayn laughes, his smile lighting up the fucking room.

Liam rinses out the shampoo before he turns to smile at Zayn for his relatively flirtly comment, but as soon as he's met with the older boy's face, he loses the grin. Zayn is glaring at something, or rather someone over Liam's shoulder. His stare is bitter, and unwavering. A determined glint behind them, and although the water is midly warm, Liam feels his body heat drop to below zero.

"Zayn?" mumbles Liam, his hand unconsciously going up to rest on his shoulder, wanting to take that look off his face. Liam turns around to find the cause of Zayn's obvious distress and sees the guy from the other night standing right next to him, sneering.

"Hello, boys." He greets, sounding friendly enough but Liam still couldn't help but hear a mocking tone in his voice.

"I swear, Mark - "

"Calm down, Zayn. I'm not here to mess with you." Mark replies, putting his hands up in surrender. Mark's focus then lands on Liam. "Liam, right?"

Liam nods hesitantly, unconsciously taking a step back and almost colliding into Zayn's chest.

"New guy around here, huh?"

Liam nods again, a curt and quick movement. Mark smirks, keeping his eyes trained on Liam. Zayn's hands are balled up into fists at his side, fighting hard to control himself for Liam's sake.

"So, you into dick?"

Zayn's jaw clenches harshly as Liam begins to blush bright red, the question obviously making the younger boy uncomfortable. Suddenly, Zayn sees Mark's tattooed hand quickly make a grab for Liam's junk and -- Zayn's hands are pushing him away as far as he can manage, his nostrils flared up in rage. As Mark stumbles backwards, Zayn takes the upper hand and punches the fucker square in the jaw, causing him to fall onto the wet shower floor.How the fuck dare he do some shit like that? He could do anything he wants to Zayn, Zayn could handle himself, but he wasn't about to let this mother fucker mess with Liam. He crossed the fucking line.

"Zayn," Liam's soft voice interrupted over the spalsh and dramatic groans coming from Mark. Zayn turned towards Liam and stepped closer instinctually, his eyes scanning his body, making sure he was alright. "Are you okay?"

Liam nodded, " 'm fine,"

"Alright, everyone out of the showers now! It seems Malik here wants some of our attention." A dumb fuck guard is yelling as he turns off the water. "Come on, Foster, off the floor."

"Fucking Malik hit me! What the fuck are ya gonna do about that huh?" Mark screamed, as he got up and was handed a towel. The guard rolled his eyes and nodded at Zayn, "Come on, I don't have time for this shit. It's solitary confinement for you."

Zayn knew that was bound to be the consequence but he didn't regret hitting that pussy one bit. He looked back at Liam one last time, and attempted at a grin. It's okay, is what he tried to convey. Liam's returned weak smile said, thank you.

______________

Zayn is gone for a week. Liam tries to not notice how strange it is to be in the cell without him, but fails miserably. His thoughts don't seem to involve much of his home anymore, but instead of red lips and calloused tan hands.

Maybe he should've been more alert, maybe he shouldn't have slept in Zayn's bottom bunk on the last night before Zayn came back, but he just missed him so much and the sheets smelled so much like him. If only Liam had slept in his own bunk, he probably could've stopped it but then again, Liam is nothing but a coward and weak either way. The lock opening is what wakes him up, although at the time, he was still in that dreamy like state in which you're half asleep and half consicous.

He doesn't forget what happens next, he can't, trust him he tries. He makes noise, he screams, but there seems to be no one there to hear him. He tries fighing, but he's big, he's much bigger than Liam, and once he stops resisting, the tears are pouring out freely, the side of his face smashed against Zayn's pillow, his scent evading his every pore. It ends, eventually and he leaves while Liam lays there, unmoving. His body feels numb and cold, he can't stop trembling, he shuts his eyes tightly and prays it was all a dream, a nightmare, but once they open back up, he's still naked, he's still crying, and Zayn's still not there.

__________

"You sure you don't wanna come to the library with, babe?" Zayn asks Liam for the third time from the opening of their cell.

Liam is under the covers in this bed, with his pillow tightly held to his chest, he hasn't gotten up in two days. For anything. Not even to eat, or take a shower, or go to work. He's been like this ever since Zayn came back from solitary confinement. Completely closed off and unresponsive to anything Zayn or even Louis have said.

"I'm fine." Liam answers, his voice softer than usual.

Zayn worries his bottom lip and sighs, wishing there was something he could do for him. Louis had suggested that maybe it was just some type of depressed phase from being in here, but Zayn hadn't quite agreed. He could tell it was something a bit more serious, something Liam refused to talk about and it was honestly beginning to take its toll on him.

"Liam, are -- "

"Please, just. " Liam interrupts.

Zayn nods, rubbing the back of his neck. He didn't want to give Liam a hard time, but he just wanted to know what was up with the kid. He couldn't stand to see the playful boy so sad.

"Yeah, alright. I'll be back soon then," Zayn promised, disappointed that his attempt at getting Liam up was shot down again.

________

Zayn returns back to his cell once it's time for dinner. He exhales when he notes how Liam is in the exact same position as he left him before. He places the new books he checked out on his desk next to his new drawing he's been working on. He started the Batman picture just yesterday as a gift for Liam, and hopes it makes him feel a bit better.

"Hey, man, come on you gotta eat." Zayn tells Liam.

"'m not hungry." Liam states in a monotone voice.

"Yeah, you are. Come on, you haven't eaten in like two days."

"I'm okay."

"Please Liam." Zayn begs. He didn't care if that made him a pussy, he just knew he didn't want Liam to get sick or something and it wasn't healthy for him to not eat. "You know I'd bring you food back if I could but I can't, and you have to eat."

No food was allowed to leave the lunchroom and Zayn was still under extreme guard supervision.

"Please, babe, for me?"

At that, Liam's head rises up and finally looks at Zayn. Their gazes lock for a bit until Liam nods and languidly sits up. His legs dangle from his bunk and Zayn kinda feels like an asshole for making him get up because Liam looks so dejected.

Zayn grabs Liam's converses by his bunk and slips them on his feet one by one before tying them for him. Liam cracks a soft smile as Zayn looks up at the younger boy, obviously grateful for the small gesture.

"Thank you."

"Come on," Zayn extends his hand to Liam and helps him down from his bed. He can't ignore the small butterflies that fly around in his stomach as their hands make contact. He doesn't let the thought linger though and instead pulls his hand away quickly.

Liam follows Zayn down to the cafeteria with his gaze trained on the floor.

"Go sit with the guys if you want, I'll get you your lunch." Zayn offers nodding his head towards their usual table that is currently inhibited by their friends. Liam doesn't respond, and just walks over to Louis.

Zayn stands in line but can't help but look over at Liam every chance he can get. He didn't know why he was so damn obsessed with the kid or why he even cared so much about what happened to him. Zayn just knew that Liam was someone he had to protect, he had buried himself deep into Zayn's skin and Zayn kind of hated him for it. Except not really, because ever since Liam had come he had found himself trying to become the best him he could be.

Zayn noticed Mark and his group of little punk ass followers walk into the cafeteria and instantly rolled his eyes. Fucking fucker. Zayn hadn't seen him since the shower incident and he had no intention of having any contact with the prick.

Zayn's eyes moved to something prettier, Liam, and saw his chocolate brown eyes widened as he took in the sight of Mark. Zayn crinkled his eyebrows as he moved up the line, but kept his stare on the younger boy. He watched as Liam's eyes flicked towards Mark and the surface of the table consistently, he looked afraid and Zayn didn't know why.

"Hurry it up." The lunch lady orders, irritated at Zayn's unfocused behavior.

Zayn promptly turns his head and grabs the tray he's handed. He makes a point not to look at fucking Mark as he walks towards his table and sits across from Liam. He slides the plate of food over to him and smiles encouragingly when Liam thanks him again.

Zayn wondered why Mark had had such an effect on Liam like that, maybe it had to do with the shower situation and he was still pretty shaken up about the whole thing. Zayn knew Liam was sensitive and it seemed like a reasonable thing for him to be worried about. But he would never let Mark hurt him, Liam had to know that. Zayn would do anything he could to make sure Liam was okay and away from any harm.

Liam slowly bites into his sandwich as Louis looks over to him constantly, asking if he's alright every five minutes.

"'m fine," Liam replies each time and Zayn wishes he could believe him but his eyes are so dull and tired, it makes it hard for him to. Louis throws a pitiful look towards Zayn, which makes him want to fuck him up because he didn't want anyone pitying Liam, especially not his so called best friend.

Once dinner is over, the rest of the boys immediately head off to the TV room. Louis invites Liam to come along, although he knows he'll just say no and is met with exactly that response.

"We can go back to our cell, yeah?" Zayn asks as they leave.

"Yeah," Liam flicks his eyes up at Zayn's in gratitude.

Zayn offers to throw Liam's lunch away when he's done and doesn't see Mark again until he spots him walking behind Liam, away from all his smug looking friends. Zayn's nostrils flare in frustration, this punk better not start shit again. Zayn speed walks back towards him with his hands balled up in fists, and stops when he sees Mark lean over Liam's smaller frame and whisper, "You should get rid of your roommate tonight, I'm feeling up for round two."

Liam freezes in his seat and Zayn is left filled with confusion and a hint of so much fucking panic because...no, no. Mark chuckles, straightening up and smirks as he catches Zayn's eye. He walks pass him as he laughs that disgusting crackly laugh of his.

Zayn flashbacks to the past days and how Liam hasn't gotten up, how he's looked so dead, and it doesn't take a genius to put two and two together. It clicked right then and there as Zayn watched Mark walk away.

He's fucking livid, he's pissed, there isn't anything else to say but that. He wants to scream, he wants to burst into tears, he wants to hit something. Zayn's lips, his entire mouth feels dry, and he sees nothing but red, which he thought was bullshit people in books said. He blinks but it doesn't leave his vision and he can't use another term to describe his feelings because no, how could Zayn let this happen to him? Why would anyone ever do this to beautiful, to lovely Liam? Zayn knows, he just fucking knows, Mark did it to spite him, to get back at him by doing this to the only person he's cared about since he got in here.

Zayn doesn't notice he's gasping for air, until Liam is at his side with his hand at his shoulder.

"What's wrong?" Liam questions. Unaware of the fact that Zayn fucking heard.

Zayn clutches Liam's hand tightly and leads him to their cell. He doesn't let go all the way there and he doesn't answer any of Liam's questions of concern. Zayn keeps blinking rapidly, trying to calm down, trying to tell himself all the reasons why finding Mark and killing him right now would be bad. He can't really come up with any good ones, but decides that Liam wouldn't be too happy with him murdering someone.

Zayn doesn't even wait for a guard to come and closes the steel bars behind them.

"Zayn?"

He ignores Liam and paces around the tiny space with his hands at his head, as if he can keep the last amount of sanity he has inside his skull with his bare hands.

"What happened?" Liam's delicate voice insists on information.

"Shut the fuck up!"

Liam startles at the abrupt burst of anger that comes from him, but he really doesn't give a fuck right now. He's so fucking angry, he can feel tears coming and he's never cried for someone that wasn't his family before.

"What did I-I do?" stammers Liam, and it just makes Zayn want to rip his own hair out.

"What happened when I was gone?" Zayn snaps, his eyes finally coming up to Liam's face. He looks so small and glassy eyed, but Zayn holds his ground. He's so mad, he can't even think straight.

"Wh -- What? I don't -- don't,"

"TELL ME LIAM!" Zayn roars, his fuming appearance causing Liam to retrieve and sit on his bunk.

"Please, don't yell. I--I don't know what you're talking about." He responds rather calmly and Zayn fucking hates him for it.

"You do know what I'm fucking talking about! Go on! Admit it!"

Liam shakes his head and doesn't meet Zayn's penetrating gaze. "You--I--please,"

Zayn didn't comprehend why he was taking this out on Liam but he just didn't know how else to react, he wanted Liam to admit it to him. He wanted Liam to trust him, and give him this. He wanted to hear Liam's pain, his hurt, so it could be Zayn's pain and hurt too, because they were in this _together_. Liam wasn't going to go through this alone, but he just needed to let him in. He needed to tell Zayn.

"No, Liam, you please. _Please_." He urges, his voice breaking and tears descending freely down his cheeks.

Liam visibly swallows the lump in his throat and nods. He bites his lips as he looks up at Zayn, hovering over him and can't control the tremble in his lips.

"Please."

Zayn's heart breaks as he watches Liam's eyes form tears. He lets his balled fists loose as they slowly slip down his pale face.

"It shouldn't be a big deal, right like I'm alive I'm okay? This happens all the fucking time, I shouldn't be such a little baby about this." His voice is shaky and Zayn has to step closer towards his bunk to hear him, "But--but for some reason it is, because-- it's, it's my body and he just did this and I just feel so dirty and just. I couldn't do a single thing about it and it was--I'm so stupid, I hate myself. This shouldn't even matter."

Liam is cleaning off his tears with his sleeve when Zayn finally sits down next to him, wrapping his arm around his waist. Zayn pulls him closer and Liam instantly leans his head on Zayn's shoulder, his wet nose nuzzling his neck. He reminds him of a puppy.

"Never, ever fucking tell me it doesn't matter. It was enough to make you cry, it was enough to make you hate yourself and call yourself stupid, so yeah, it does matter, Liam. Because you fucking matter. Never tell me it's not a big deal. Never again, okay?"

Liam's hushed whimpers escape his mouth as he nods into Zayn's shoulder. Zayn stops himself from saying the three words he is aching to confess, but no, fuck that, he can't. He cares for Liam, he can't let himself fall for him. He can't.

_______

When Zayn awakens the next day, it's to find himself in an empty cell with the absence of a warm body next to him. He had suggested that Liam sleep with him and Liam was too tired and too grateful for the offer to refuse. He grunts as he pulls himself up and throws on his boots, he rubs the sleep out of his eyes and sits on the top of his bunk for a moment.

Zayn knows what needs to be done and he knows he's the only one who can do it, because then again this is his mess. If only he had never started any trouble with Foster, maybe Liam would be okay. But, he did because he's a fuck up and this is all his fault. He comes into people's lives and taints them, he just wishes this wouldn't have happened to Liam.

He strolls easily, almost casually, into the cafeteria with his hands in his pockets as if today is just any other regular day. He catches Liam's eye as he walks in, and Liam smiles at him, but it's not his real smile. It's not the one that lights up his eyes and makes his cheeks go up, his smile has been bruised, and that just encourages Zayn even more to do what he's planning to do.

He scans the room for him. He nearly tastes blood in his mouth once he finds his target. Zayn walks over and he can practically hear the thudding in his chest, he wills himself to calm down, he can't be too furious, because he won't be able to stop himself and he needs to. He needs to stop, eventually, for Liam.

Zayn harshly shoves Mark off the table he's leaning on, causing him to stumble back. Mark is pissed, yet once he turns around and distinguishs Zayn, he begins to chuckle.

"Is this about your boyfriend?" He hiccups while he laughs and Zayn can't help but grind his teeth together.

"You and me got a thing we gotta settle."

"Nah, don't worry about it. I did you a solid, his ass was so tight, I doubt you've ever fucked him properly."

Zayn is ramming his fist into Mark's stupid smug face as soon as the words escape his lips. He instantly falls back and this isn't at all how it was like in the showers. This time he doesn't stop, he just keeps hitting and hitting the fucker while he lays on top of him, his arms aching from punching him so hard. Miraculously, no guards are around to break up the fight yet, but the great crowd of inmates have already gathered around the boys. None of Mark's friends interve because they all know they've needed to settle their shit for a long time now.

"Don't get involved, Liam." Zayn hears Niall shout and he slowly begins to hit him without as much force as before. He doesn't want Liam to see him like this, but then he remembers. He remembers what this fucker did and he can't find a reason to give a fuck.

Zayn's consious of Liam's touch by now and he finally halts his actions once he feels Liam's soft hand at his shoulder.

"Zayn, just let it go! just--come with me. Please."

Zayn looks up at Liam with his bloody knuckles still raised up in the air, he must look fucking crazy right now. Suddenly, the younger boy is gasping and his eyes are expanding in panic. Zayn doesn't understand what's gone on until he looks down and catches sight of the small knife plunged into his lower stomach. Fuck, that shit hurts, he can't believe this pussy actually pulled a knife on him but then again he can.

The fucking guards finally decide to show up then and are breaking up the crowd around them, trying to reach the bloodied boys. A guard pulls Zayn up and off of Mark and Zayn wants to throw up from how lightheaded he feels. Liam is extending his arms and reaching for him, tears already in his brown eyes.

Another guard forces Liam back. "Back the fuck off." Zayn tells him, he just doesn't want him to get hurt or involved in any of this and fuck, Zayn is dizzy as hell. Liam's eyes are shining with new tears and Zayn just really wants to tell him that he's sorry and that he'll be okay and that he loves him. Thankfully, he lets none of that slip out as he's walked out of the cafeteria.

_______

Zayn is brought into medical care immediately after the incident. He's almost unconscious by the time he arrives at the hospital from the lack of blood, but is given instensive care on the spot. He spends an agonizing week in the chlorine scented hospital room, with no information on Liam or anything. Once Zayn has recovered and is able to handle himself properly, he's driven back to Braxton, but instead of being put back into his appointed cell, he's shoved into solitary confinement on the account of starting shit with Foster again. Zayn tries not to make a scene, but he fucking hates it in this dull, torturous room and all he wants is to see Liam and make sure he's okay.

Another week passes and Zayn doesn't want to admit it to himself but he feels like he'll never be able to see his Liam again. He feels like he is almost going completely mad, thinking too much can do that to someone.

It isn't until he finally hears the lock on his door click and two guards come into view that he sighs in relief. He was going back home, back to Liam.

The curly headed boy wasn't in the cell when Zayn got in that night. He knew it wouldn't be long before he came back though, so he grabbed his sketch pad and sat on his bunk. Waiting.

He had barely shaded in his drawing once he heard the cell door lock into place. Zayn lifted his head and was met with the honey colored eyes he had missed for the last two weeks. Zayn hastily got off his bed, his heart almost jumping out of his throat.

Liam stared at Zayn, his mouth agape, unable to find the words he wanted to say. Zayn just takes him in, glancing at the curve of his jaw. Fuck, did he miss those stupid doe like eyes and stupid pretty pink lips that made his stomach tingle with anticipation.

As Zayn blinks, Liam is striding towards him, across the cell. His strong arms are shoving Zayn back which for some reason doesn't surprise him. Liam glares at the older boy, his body merely inches away from him. Zayn knows he deserves this, he knows he acted reckless and that was wrong of him. He just hoped Liam didn't cut all ties with him, he wouldn't be able to bear it.

His breath is almost knocked out of him when Liam's arms wrap around him. Zayn doesn't even hesitate in hugging back, their arms locking around each other tightly.

"You arsehole, I hate you," Liam mumbles into his neck.

Zayn can't contain the smile that spreads across his face. He had been thinking about this moment for far too long.

"I can't believe you're really _here_ ,"

Zayn's hand goes to Liam's mess of curls, tangling his fingers in golden hair. "I can't either."

Liam pulls away from Zayn's neck, still keeping a hold on him. "No one would tell me where you were....I was beginning to think I would never see you again."

"You know I would never let that happen, I would never just leave like that. Fuck this shithole, I don't give a fuck, I would never leave you."

Liam looks a bit taken aback by that, making Zayn feel like he had said too much. But he couldn't control himself, he's been dying to voice these thoughts to Liam.

"After everything we've been through, you kinda just have to know that."

Liam's lips curl up into a bashful smile, his honey eyes dropping to the floor. He's beautiful.

_________________

The boys settle into Zayn's bottom bunk, their bodies snuggling under the covers. They didn't even think about it, they just knew they had to hold onto each other tonight.

"I'm sorry, you know, for being so stupid." Zayn apologizes to Liam as he runs his hands through Liam's curly hair. Liam scoffs and tightens his hold on Zayn's waist.

"You're not a bad guy, Zayn. Why do you always wanna act so tough?"

And maybe that should offend Zayn, but it doesn't. Because this is _Liam_ and everything about Liam is different. "I need to protect the things I love." Zayn isn't quite sure why he decides to let that out and he momentarily panics because no, he didn't just admit to loving Liam. He can't admit it, even though he's pretty sure it's obvious right? Isn't it obvious?

Liam is silent for a while and Zayn thinks this is it. He's fucked up.

"Is that why you're here? You were protecting something you loved?"

Zayn looks down at the boy in his arms, and sees Liam's eyes asking, no, begging, for him to finally open up. And, in that moment, Zayn feels so secure and safe with telling someone else his secrets, his thoughts.

Zayn confines in him about how him and a couple of old friends decided to rob a drugstore for some quick cash. And Zayn is all for it, you know, because all he's thinking about is buying his baby sister, Safaa, that Barbie she saw on TV and Waliyha that makeup kit she's been crying over and Doniya those nice pair of earrings she's been eyeing at the mall. Zayn even brings up his mum and how he dreamt of buying her the world, one day. He's not too sure that'll ever happen now. Zayn admits how things got carried away at the robbery and shit wasn't supposed to go down the way they did, but it's done now.

"I swear I said no shooting, fuck, I didn't even want to load the damn guns." Zayn supplies. "You gotta believe me, man."

"I do." Liam breathes, his eyes never leaving Zayn's. And that means so much to Zayn because no one has ever believed him, believed in him, so completely like this. They've just written Zayn off as a thug and a cold hearted monster, and maybe those things were true but Liam was the only one who made him feel like an actual person.

"But Ant, he was so scared....and he fired and just like that, we had fucking blood on our hands. "

Liam shakes his head, his hands fisting in his shirt, attempting to comfort the older boy.

"I was given five years at the age of eighteen," Zayn murmurs quietly into the now dimly lit cell, "I still have two years left and my family haven't contacted me since I got here."

They lay there in silence like before and Zayn can't help but panic once again, feeling like maybe he did cross the line this time. Maybe Liam has finally figured he's insane and not worth any of this trouble. But then, Liam is curling against him and burying his face into his warm chest. Zayn can't even bring himself to stop the smile that slowly forms on his face, the initial regret from before fading away.

"Tell me what I can do to make you feel better," Liam murmurs.

"Can you sing to me again? I've missed your voice," Zayn confesses, his fingers moving to comb Liam's hair. Zayn bites his lip as he realizes that he might have a slight obsession with it.

"What do you want me to sing?"

"Whatever, I just wanna hear your voice."

Zayn's eyes eventually close and his breathing evens out as Liam soothingly sings Lay Me Down by Sam Smith. He's pretty sure that just may be his new favorite song and he's also pretty sure he's in love with his beautiful and innocent kid.

____________

"Want my muffin, Zayn?" Liam asks him the next day during lunch.

Harry smirks and leans towards Louis who's across from him, "Of course, Zayn wants his muffin."

Louis giggles while shoving potatoes into his face, his eyes lighting up with Harry so close to him. Guess he was over the whole 'murderer' thing.

Zayn shakes his head at his ridiculous friends and nods at Liam, his arm wrapping around Liam's waist gently. Liam blushes slightly and hands him the muffin, because he knows banana pastries are Zayn's favorites.

"Thanks,"

"How's your stomach feeling?" Liam murmurs. Zayn doesn't feel weird about leaning so close to Liam, they've basically curled into each other and he doesn't give a shit if people think something. His stomach warms at the prospect that Liam is concerned about him, he can't help but smile softly at the boy.

"'m good, yeah." Zayn replies, squeezing Liam's hip softly. "How are you? Are you feeling okay?"

Zayn wanted nothing more than anything to erase the picture of Mark with his Liam, but it was impossible and it left a metallic taste in his mouth. He brushed off the bubbling anger and dropped his fisted hand.

"I'm better......., I just hope that--ya know, wherever he is..he's okay."

Zayn's jaw clenched, why did Liam care about what happened to that piece of shit? Had he actually cared for him? He wasn't going to ask what he meant by that, but he couldn't resist. He never can with Liam. "Why--I don't. I hope he's suffering. Why do you say that?"

He knows that Louis and Harry are in their own little bubble and are paying them no mind, but he still whispers. Because these things between them are private and he doesn't want to appear pissed although he is. He's livid at the way Liam hopes he's okay.

"I know you won't get it, but to be able to get over this, I need to forgive. I need to be okay. I need to accept that maybe something made him that way and just hope for the best for him." Liam answers, his eyes avoiding Zayn's. He chews at his plump bottom lip as he picks at his bread.

Zayn swells up with such fondness for the boy that's wrapped around his arm. He can't believe the absolute goodness in his heart. Zayn wishes he could be like that and he so desperately wishes that he was able to have Liam. He would be his better half, for sure.

"I think you're amazing." Zayn lets slip out. He watches as Liam smiles and looks up shyly through his eyelashes, "I can't forgive him for what he did to you though."

Zayn shrugs and tilts his head cutely towards Liam. "I'm a strong boy."

"You're a baby boy," Liam giggles, laughing into Zayn's shoulder.

Zayn laughs along with him, drawing smooth circles into his hip. He was so warm and solid and real. Zayn had never been in love before, had never even thought feelings like this existed, but he knows he doesn't regret it.

________

Later that night, Liam is sitting on the bottom bunk with his legs spread out in front of him, and a book in his lap with his eyebrows furrowed in concentration. His brown eyes squinting at the text in the novel, a determined glint behind them, Zayn smiles softly to himself as he glances at him. Liam had always had this sort of light to his eyes ever since he met the kid. It was one of the reasons he had fallen in love.

It's a random thought and it comes from nowhere, really, but Zayn finds himself mindlessly thinking how he'd rather die tomorrow than to face a day where this boy wasn't apart of his life. At that moment, Zayn knew he wanted to kiss Liam. He wanted to kiss him because Liam was beautiful, yes it was as simple as that, with those large chestnut eyes and full bright lips. Liam was brilliant and compassionate, and always thoughtful. Liam was all warm light touches and genuine laughs that made Zayn feel happy. Zayn wanted to kiss Liam because when he thought of the word 'content', he thought of him laying in his bottom bunk listening to Liam softly sing along to whatever song was stuck in his head at the time.

And for some reason, _that's it_. That's all it takes to motivate him to finally overcome the fear of rejection. He swallows and rubs his clammy hands together, he wasn't a pussy by any means, but Liam made him nervous and excited and weak in the knees, all at once.

Zayn stands up just as the lights go out in the cell block for the night. He shakily pulls out a match and lights the one candle they have, and thanks himself for saving it. Zayn sits down on his bunk while Liam sighs, disappointed he didn't get to finish his chapter, and drops his book to the floor.

He swallows again, forcing the damn lump in his throat down and slowly leans in towards Liam, because fuck it, man. He has waited forever for this. Liam feels the older boy come closer and immediately stiffens, but keeps silent. "Tell me if you want me to stop," Zayn breathes, he needs to know if Liam is okay with this.

It's all quiet except for some distant grumpling coming from another cell and Zayn is so fucking close to Liam's lips now and he feels his breath against his own and he whispers so lowly, "Please -- just -- fuck, tell me to stop, I'm so terrified of you,"

Liam is still mute and Zayn's lips brush his so softly that he barely feels the touch before he's pulling away, because, fuck, why hasn't he told him to fuck off? Why hasn't he told him to stop? Liam can't genuinely like him back. Zayn doesn't deserve people as beautiful as Liam in his life. And then all he hears is Liam croak out, "Don't stop,"

Zayn's eyes widen slightly at his command but he wastes no time as he places his hands on Liam's cheeks and tugs him towards him, licking into his mouth. They kiss with teeth and spit and Liam's tongue is so warm and feels so, so good and right against Zayn's own. The whimpers he lets escape encourage Zayn to straddle him, without breaking the kiss, he doesn't think he'll ever break this kiss.

Zayn basks in how much of a selfish little fuck he is as he rises Liam's shirt up and begins exploring every part of Liam, his hips, his muscles that protrude from his stomach, his chest. Zayn's hands are going under Liam's shirt all the way up to his collarbones as he runs his hands across them and he can't help but moan when Liam bucks his hips up, creating an intense friction between them.

Zayn regretfully pulls away while he pulls his shirt off with the help of Liam's eager hands. "Are you--sure about this?" Zayn pants, his lips attaching to Liam's neck. Liam nods quickly, "Yes, yes. I've wanted it for so long."

"I didn't think you liked me," Zayn mutters, his lips skimming Liam's chest over his shirt, he loved the feeling of his beating heart underneath him. "I never thought I could, ever have you."

"You're daft," Zayn wishes so fucking much that he could see him clearly right now, probably with dishelved hair, red swollen lips, and his wide pupils. "I want you. _I do_."

Zayn groans at that, it sounds like heaven to his ears. He ruts against him and goes back to kissing Liam's pink, wet lips because he can. Soon enough, they're just panting into each other's mouths like a pair of unexperienced teenagers. Liam gently shoves him back as he sits up a bit, removing his damn shirt. "Take your pants off, please." Liam moans, his big hands tugging at the fabric around Zayn's waist.

He doesn't deny his demand and hurriedly pulls them off, with Liam doing the same to his own pair. Fucking pants, who fucking invented them? Liam's legs looked so good and Zayn couldn't even see properly with the poor excuse of lighting surrounding them but fuck.

"You're, fuck, you're so _beautiful_." Zayn admits in a hushed pant, his hands placing themselves on either side of Liam's head. Liam's arms go around his shoulders pulling him closer to him, kissing his nose, his cheeks, his forehead, and lastly his lips. His kisses are soft and sweet, making Zayn's arms tremble. "Can I take your --"

"Mm, yeah, yeah." Liam stammers giving him a quick peck to his lips. "I can't believe this is happening,"

Zayn chuckles breathlessly, dragging Liam's boxers down slowly, past his knees and over his ankles. Liam sighs contently while Zayn sits back and admires him, his eyes roaming over his pale untouched thighs, his hard cock, his sweaty chest, and up to his bashful smile and his matted curls pressed to his forehead. Zayn longs to have better lighting than that one tiny candle but he can't complain, not right now, not when he's the luckiest fucker on the planet.

"You're good?"

"I'm...great," Zayn shakes his head, a grin overtaking his entire face. "Fucking amazing. " Zayn supplies, how could he not be? He had the most delicate and breathtaking boy in his bed, staring up at him as if he was actually worth _something_. "Are you good? Is this okay?"

Liam giggles, "It's more than okay, it'd be better if you took off your underwear though."

Zayn stays frozen for a second as he processes Liam's flirty comment, thinking it was the hottest thing ever. He yanks the constricting clothing off and returns back to his pervious spot, hovering over his Liam. Liam's ankles hook over his back, pressing him closer towards his body.

"I'm hard, babe." Zayn grunts as their dicks rub together from the close proximity. "Fuck, lemme just."

Zayn takes Liam into his hand, running it down his length and up again, noticing how the precum oozes from Liam's slit. He debates whether he should put his mouth on it or just give him a handjob, but it's so thick and red he can't resist.

Zayn licks his lips, "I really wanna suck your di-- "

"Mm, yeah, yes, yeah, please. " Liam moans, his excitement interrupting Zayn's sentence.

Zayn breathlessly laughs at the squirming boy underneath him and dips his head down, taking Liam into his wet mouth. He can't take him all in at once, because, _damn_ he's big. But, Zayn can taste the precum and it's salty and sweet and he can't help the whimper he lets out when Liam's hands go into his hair.

He runs his tongue down the entire length and then returns it in his mouth. Fuck, he wasn't the type of guy to suck a dick, usually he was the one getting that treatment but Liam was different and he enjoyed this so much more.

Zayn looks up at Liam and smirks as he sees the boy with his mouth open, little pants escaping his lips. Zayn sucks him off with a loud pop, moving up to him again and kissing him gently.

"Mm, baby," Zayn whispers against his mouth, feeling Liam's hand grip his hip, harshly.

Liam shivers momentarily, "Don't laugh but I -- I want you, all of you."

Zayn wasn't an idiot and he knew what Liam was asking, but he didn't want to pressure the young boy into anything he wasn't comfortable doing. Zayn needed this to be special for him. "Are you sure that's what you want?"

"More than anything." Liam confesses with his eyes trained on the boy above him.

"Okay -- I -- I need to get you ready first."

"Okay,"

It's a slow and intimate process, getting Liam ready for him. He starts off soft and gentle, lifting Liam's legs and placing them upon his shoulders. He kisses Liam's knee and down to his inner thigh watching the rosy blush make way on Liam's cheeks. He's grateful to know he is the only one who has ever made him feel this way, so loved and important.

They have no lube so Zayn has to make do with what they do have. He spits into his hand and slicks Liam's entrance up good and wet. He moans in appreciation as he offers Liam his fingers and watches in fascination as Liam's plump and delicious lips swirl around his digits.

"Beautiful," Zayn whispers removing his fingers and easing one into Liam's hole. His eyes are hard to make out in the lighting but they're wide and open and full of something Zayn can't quite place. He grunts as he feels his finger pass through the tightness.

"Oh my god," Liam hisses.

"Good?"

Liam shakes his head, "Yes, I -- More. " The word sounds filthy sliding off his tongue and Zayn's toes curl up from the arousal.

Zayn gives him three full fingers before he decides he's been stretched enough. He readjusts Liam's legs to be firmly around Zayn's shoulders, making sure they're both as comfortable as possible.

"I know this will probably be the stupidest thing I've ever said," Liam swallows, "but I need you to make love to me now."

Zayn snorts, his half smile making an appearance at Liam's words. "It's not stupid at all, I'll give you anything you want."

Liam hums closing his eyes and bracing himself for what's to come. "Relax, babe," Zayn soothes, running a hand down his chest.

He leans down quickly to press a wet kiss to his left nipple before he inhales and lines himself up. He takes a small moment to think about how unreal this all feels. He feels like he's on fire, like he's burning from the inside and it's the most brilliant feeling he's ever experienced.

He pushes his hard cock pass Liam's stretched out hole. He passively goes in until he bottoms out and has his thighs pressed right up against Liam's ass.

"Zayn, oh," Liam sobs, his eyes opening wide and looking at the other's.

"Do you want me to stop?"

"No, no, just -- I need you to keep going, like move please."

Zayn rocks into him slowly the first few times. Liam's left leg drops from around Zayn's shoulder and he instantly hooks it around his back, insisting Zayn to come closer although he was as close as he could be.

"Go faster," Liam hisses, his hand latching to the back of Zayn's neck, pulling him down to his lips.

"You want more, baby?"

Liam hums a yes into his mouth and tugs Zayn's hair when he begins snapping his hips in swiftly. Zayn feels so _right_ in him and he can't help but tip his head up with his mouth falling open at the sensation of being so close to the one person he cares about more than anything.

Zayn buries his face in the small space where Liam's neck and shoulder meets. His thrusts begin to go slower and deeper, savoring the breathless noises Liam is letting out.

He bites at Liam's unbruised shoulder to muffle the moans that come out and before he can catch himself he's saying, "I love you."

And then Zayn just stops, while still inside him, and hopes and prays that Liam didn't hear what he just said because he can't possibly feel the same. He can't be in love with quiet and moody Zayn Malik.

"You do?"

"I'm sorry -- sorry, I'm sorry. I couldn't help it -- I didn't think -- " Zayn rambles off hushed apologizes as he blinks down at the boy below him. His mind is racing with every possible excuse he can use to dismiss this, to convince Liam that he doesn't love him.

But then Liam is softly kissing his neck and breathing out, "I love you." against his skin. Zayn trembles and feels like jello. He pushes in deeper into Liam absentmindedly and grins the biggest he's ever smiled in his entire life. He laughs like a manic, like a person in love.

Zayn continues to thrust in until he embraces Liam's trembling and arching body and flips him over in one fluid movement. Liam hits his head on the top bunk in the process and Zayn curses and he feels like punching the shit out of that bed because it hurt his Liam.

But then Liam starts giggling and rests this palms on Zayn's chest, his eyes squinting down at him. He laughs along with him, not being able to resist the temptation. He can't recall a time where he has ever felt so happy, so free. Liam shifts slightly, causing Zayn to groan at the change in position. It shoots a set of fireworks in his stomach and he suddenly is reminded that he's here, with _Liam_ , inside of him.

"Your turn." Zayn whispers and Liam looks lost on top of him, unsure on what to do. It's so innocent and so Liam.

Zayn places his calloused hands on his hips gently, "Just -- Just like this." He cautiously moves Liam's body up and down. He helps him until Liam is finally bouncing freely, his fingers digging into Zayn's shoulders and his curls flopping around. Liam pants above him and Zayn breathes out, longing to kiss him, but he was too far away. The tired, old bed squeaks beneath them and the pressure they're putting on it but they don't care. Zayn certainly doesn't.

Zayn hits his prostate once Liam cries out, "There. Right there, right there."

Zayn curses and fucks up into his hole with abandon now, wanting to give Liam everything he could give.

They vaguely hear the douche bag next to them banging on the wall, screaming to "fuck like civil people and keep it the fuck down!"

Zayn huffs and watches Liam smile because they're literally so close and he can feel Liam clenching around him and then he feels his hot cum ooze on his panting stomach.

The heat of it on his abdomen just sends so much fucking pleasure and fuck, he needs to see Liam's face right now. He knows just by watching him come undone would've sent him over the edge. Zayn thrusts up into Liam quickly while his hands bruise his pale skin.

He cums. Hard. The spunk drips in Liam and he whimpers as he is takes it, all of it. Zayn moans like such a pussy and throws his head back against the pillow, laughing uncontrollable for the third time that night. He grips Liam's hips, demanding the bruises to form right away. He's having the time of his life while Liam's deep breaths fill the room.

Liam lays down on his chest, with Zayn still inside, and hugs him. Neither pay any mind to the cum between them as Zayn wraps his arms around his smooth back.

He thinks about how nothing will ever top this moment, no one will ever live up to this boy in his arms.

"I wish you had been my first."

Zayn shushes him, rubbing his back in lazy circles because he didn't want to dwell on that. He was happy and he had Liam.

"Did you mean it?" Liam rasps his voice weak from what they had just done.

"I meant everything." He confirms. It was true. All of it.

"Say it again."

"I love you."

 _5 months later_ -

Liam was set to leave Braxton in just two weeks, which should've been a reason to celebrate. He had done it, he had survived. But he was leaving behind a part of him he couldn't bear say goodbye to.

He clung to Zayn's waist tighter, burying his face in his chest. He inhaled his scent and almost let the tears fall from his eyes.

"I can't leave you."

The bunk was small but they had adjusted to it and were actually quite fond of it, considering they had had their most valuable memories there.

Zayn kissed the top of his head and ran his hand down his spine, soothingly.

"Don't be upset now," Zayn told him. "I'll be out before you even have time to miss me."

"'S not true, I already miss you."

Zayn chuckles at his boyfriend, so small and adorable. He was unbelievably sad about having Liam leave, only because he would be gone and not a constant thing like Niall and Harry. But he had to be the stronger of the two and make it realize that there was actual life beyond these walls. Zayn wanted Liam to be free and experience things and live his life.

"I love you, you can visit me every Wednesday," Zayn offers, "If you want."

"Of course I want to, I'll come every visiting day. Maybe I can even bring my mum and you can meet her." Liam finally slips out of his depressed tone and lights up at the prospect of Zayn meeting his mum.

"I don't exactly wanna meet your mum behind cell bars, babe."

"She'll love you."

"I hope so."

They bask in silence, enjoying the feel of each other's heartbeats.

"Maybe when I get out we can -- I don't know -- maybe move in together." Zayn feels shy suggesting it because he isn't quite sure if Liam loves him like he loves him.

Liam hums happily. He raises his head to look at Zayn. "And then we can get a puppy, yeah? Whichever breed you like, I don't mind. I can decorate our room. Which color do you reckon? Maybe an elegant purple?"

Zayn chuckles at the ramblings of his Liam. It was something he loved about him though and wouldn't change for the world.

"That'd be perfect, baby."

"Imagine Christmas at our little house, the lights, the snow. God, it'll feel like such a home. You feel like home."

Zayn blushes at what he's called and realizes that's exactly what Liam is to him. He had never been able to place the look in his eyes. It was home. Liam looked like his home.

"Once I get out, I'll be coming home to you."

"I'll be waiting for you."


End file.
